Boyfriend and I are taking space from eachother...please read?

We are currently in a long-distance relationship, but he is moving here permanently in June. Lately I have been having issues, because I haven't seen him in a month. He is the most trustworthy man I have ever met, so please don't judge that way. I love him and he loves me very much, but being away from him so long really drives me crazy. We have gotten in a few arguments over the last month and I feel like it is my fault, because I take things too personally, I get paranoid over stupid things, and I'm really too focused on his life rather than my own, because I don't really have a lot going on here lately. I feel so horrible because I yelled at him last night over something, that after I thought about it, was really stupid, and he really broke down. He said he couldn't feel like this anymore, and I felt so horrible that we considered ending it. We decided that we'd give eachother some breathing space til we figure some things out. Its driving me crazy, i miss him so much.

has anyone been through this kind of thing before? if anyone has any advice or suggestions, i'd be really happy to hear it. please note that i am very sensitive and upset at this time, so please don't be rude :(

Giving space is sometimes good for a relationship coz it allows you to evaluate what you are in right now and see if there is a room to improve or change. Maybe this is just what you need in order to see that you dont have to get paranoid over meager things that can result into hurting your relationship.

You should break up. Long distance relationships don't work. People need to be close to someone. I have done this a few times while I was in the military, and although cheating may not take place physically, people must be able to get close to someone to truly be committed.

Hey there!
Distance can be tough on a relationship. I can understand where you're coming from as my boyfriend is in the military and is 4 hours away during the week. We have had our share of scuffels but we work through it and move on. The two of us have come to this agreement that if we feel like argueeing that we will say I need to go I'll call you back later. Maybe try that. Hope this helps!

honesty is the best policy. Tell him everything you wrote here on Answers. He should understand. Long distance love is very hard but all you have to do is wait one more month. That could also be something that is adding pressure to you. His being there in a month changes things and will make things more serious. Maybe on some level yo recognize this and are worried about what will happen if he is actually living there and things don't work out. You both are stressed but if you tell him you are sorry and feel bad he should understand. You need to talk to him even though he said take a break.

Hey I wont be rude but I'll be honest. Most long distance relationships do NOT work. And no matter how much you "trust" someone there will always be doubts wondering if he is being totally honest. And its very easy for me to understand how your so focused on his life more then you are on yours. I am happily married to a wonderful man who does have to travel on business and sometimes he's gone for 14-16 days at a time. We talk on the phone every day he is gone we text message but in the back of my head I always think "what is he doing"

I can also understand how your bf feels I wouldnt want to be accused of things all the time either and having ppl snap at me for no reason. If you are both having doubts it is best you put things off until he moves closer and you both and determine what is best for you as a couple.

I know someone who had similar issues except he was da guy and i always wanted to say this to his girlfriend. Sit down and estimate your relationship. Do you think he is still good for you? If yes have a talk and try and work things out. If no then let him go before you hurt him more. Da one you love is not always da one you are meant to be with.

Dear, being paranoid is normal. I've been in that scenario few months ago and the consequences of having "space" is more painful. I suggest that you talked it over. Don't settle for that "space" thing. It is do or not do it. This might sound rude but sometimes guys play that trick to be freed from us. If you love the guy so much, just be persistent.

From personal experience SPACE is the mother of a break up.......The longer you stay away from a lover the more distance you feel that eventually leads to a break up! June is not long away and if you trust him just try and occupy yourself with other things to release the pressure on him and concentrating on his life.

First of all, self blaming is not going to solve any issues. Instead, we could take a serious look at the root of the problems.

You've mentioned about getting paranoid and too focused on his life so that goes to shows you do know yourself and your shortcomings. This is a good thing for you because without identifying these, you probably wouldn't know where to start. Since you know which areas that you are slightly lacking in, did it occur to you that there are things you can do? Are you aware of what you can do to change your bad habits?

At some point, we yell at our partners due to anger or frustrations. Each time that you feel like yelling at him, are you able to bring yourself to tell him that you need time to cool it off before you call him back again? It might help in easing off tension that has built up over any conversations or arguments. At least, you have given yourself time to cool it, rethink and plan how you want to put your thoughts and message across to him.

The distance have definitely affected the relationship. But all is not that bad. Could there been times that you could tell yourself, since the meeting-up option is not readily available at this point, perhaps you should treasure whatever time you have with him over emails, messenger or phone.

Let him know how much you miss him, and how much it frustrates you not being able to see him as often as you wished. That tells him how much you love him and misses him.

In addition, fill up your time with other things. For example, you could spend it with friends or family. If your mind is constantly on him, why not do a hand-made gift? Just visualize and imagine how happy he would be upon receiving it when he moved to you in June, I am sure that is going to cheer you up as much knowing that he would be smiling.

First, if you think your actions were foolish then they may have just been foolish. You didn't say what you did or why you were fighting. Slow down and tell what it really is that has you upset.

Second, you talk about taking space from one another. That to me spells intimacy issues. Maybe he is just a good friend. You can have sex with good friends only to find out that they are not the one that you trust above all others. It sounds like the person you trust least in this rlationship is yourself and that is not good. You have to trust yourself before you can trust another person with your heart and love.

Third, perhaps you need to take a step back or a huge step forward. Either put some distance between your relationship while you get to know yourself or move in with one another and committ to one another, get married.

And Fourth, if you were both being honest with one another and he told you he could not handle feeling like this then he is not committed and you should take that into account. You may find out that he is as unsure about some things as you are and maybe he is wondering what you are.

And Oh yes Fifth, if you feel you have no life there is no time like the present to get one.

Good Luck.