How to i be patient with my girlfriend wanting space?

I have been dating a girl for about a year and things could not be better! But through out the relationship there have been many obstacles to overcome! The biggest is my ex-wife! She has given me hell ever since me and my girlfriend got together! She has threatened to take my daughter away because I have this 鈥減erfect little family now鈥? We have joint custody of my daughter! Me and my girlfriend work together and our jobs takes us all over the US. When we aren鈥檛 working we go to either one of our homes. She lives in Kentucky and I in Louisiana. I have been real stressed for the last few months and we have gotten in some very heated arguments! I have never hit her but we both have been physical during these arguments! I realized that I needed to take control of my anger and started anger management! It has helped me so much I wish I would have went a long time ago! About 3 week ago I could tell something was different with her and she said she wanted to not be worried if we fight that she will get hurt! I totally understand that and told her that I would never hurt her! Oh during this time we were both in our home states! It seemed that after that talk she had distanced herself. We met up for a few days and talked cried laughed etc鈥e left there broke up but not! Two weeks later she came out for a visit to LA and we had one of the best times ever! Felt like we were together but when she got back to KY same thing broke up but not! She has said she needed to know that she wouldn鈥檛 have to look to me to be happy! That is very understanding because I too feel that way! She moved about a week ago to Colorado to live with her father and is planning on seeing me in about 2 weeks! The funny thing is she says she loves me WHEN she feels like it but insists she isn鈥檛 ready for a relationship! She calls me but says she needs time to sort her feelings! When she calls I am always there for her and her needs but when I call she makes me feel like I鈥檓 a nuisance! I鈥檝e told her that I can鈥檛 feel like a yo-yo and told her I won鈥檛 call but if she needs anything I am here for her! When I do she cries her eyes out! What does that mean? What should I do? Do I just ignore her calls? The problem with that is we work together. But she can always email I suppose!

I would let her call you! Just wait and see what happens! I wouldn't push the issue with her until she decides what she wants! You two had some issues in your relationship and she's trying to decide if she wants to go any further in the relationship! Also, try using less exclamation points!!

You need help, focus on yourself and not on this relationship. Sounds like there has been a lot of damage probably to her mentally, and close to physically. You need to take care of your issues because with the things you admitted to, you probably should have your daughter taken away. If you love your daughter and want any chance to be happy with any other woman in the future - please take time now to focus on your issues. Respect her space and you will see if she really wants to be with you. Don't call, call, call, and ask questions like what she's been doing and asking details. Respect her and prove to her you are capable of respecting her as a woman.

wow...ok...well i definately dont think that you should ignore her calls, that'll just make it worse. I think that you should just let her figure out whatever it is that she needs to figure out. I mean obviously there is something on her mind that she is uncertain about. I mean its not fair to you to have to feel like a nuisance but you also shouldnt let her feel like she has complete control over where your relationship is going

I could be wrong, but this sounds like she feels guilty for something and is using the fights you've had as an excuse to distance herself. You still fill a need for her so she will keep coming back to get what she needs. If you offer to keep the door open whenever she needs you, then you are relinquishing your role in the relationship - you are letting her take control - which means your emotions are going to go for a ride.

If you want, set up boundaries. Let her know you care but you can't drop everything for her. Ask her to only email you and to stop calling, etc.

My hunch is, as soon as you take away her ability to pick and choose what she wants from you things will change.