What is the best way to discipline a 3 1/2 yr old immed? Like for example:

I walk her back to her room for nap and she keeps getting up waking the other 3 1/2 yr old and 1 1/2 yr old
I ask her to pick something up and she walks away
I ask her to come her and she goes the other way
I ask her to stop playing with her food
pretty much anything I ask her to do is met with a battle and I am so tired of being the mom that yells all the time. If I tell her go to your room everyone follows her and if I stop them they all cry and start hitting each other! Please how should I be disciplining them? I need an immed quick solid solution and time out is not working cause they don't stay and while I chase them back to the spot the other two use that opportunity to climb as high as possible.

I think she's probably, at that age, doing it more for attention rather than an actual problem, so do what I always did. When ever she's playing up, pick her up and take her to her room. Put her in there, shut the door and just wait outside for 3 minutes- one minute for every year of her life. Then let her out, carry on as usual. If she does it again, then put her in the room again. Whilst your taking her, don't say anything. and while she's being naughty, only use authroitive words like 'no' and 'stop. You could also try giving alot of attention to the other 3 1/2 year old who isn't being naughty, whilst ignoring her being bad. Then she may see that being naughty isn't the way to get more attention.

Good luck!

Does she like cartoons? I can get my little girl to do anything I want if the reward is watching a cartoon!

Personally I think spankings work- I am not telling you to beat your child- a pop on the rear is not going to ruin a child! Also time out shouldn't be in their room- you should have "the naughty bench/chair". Every time they get up walk them back and put their butts in their seat! Do not talk to them just put them back- it may take an hour but make them sit back down and start their time over again- 1 minute per year- 3years old 3 minutes. After time out get on their level - make them listen if they don't tell them to sit until they get ready! Yes- it is frustrating but once they see that YOU have the upper level they will start listening!

She just wants attention. She doesn't care if it is negative or positive. I agree with putting her in time out. One minute for each year. Reward the good behavior. Start out small at first like if you ask her to do something say pick up her toys reward her with "OH wow your such a big girl! Thank you for helping mommy, since you are a big girl do you want to stay up 5 minutes later?" She will then associate good behavior with rewards as she learns to mind you, you can then try "If you pick up your toys today EVERYTIME mommy tells you AND you come here when I tell you we will go to the park tomorrow."

First of all not all 3 year olds need to nap. None of my kids were napping at three. In fact my oldest gave up all naps after her first birthday. She is a three year old chld...not a maid service if you want something picked up you're going to have to do it yourself...or "invite" her to help you. At three it is quite natural for a child to play with her food. You're trying to discipline that which is natural behavior in children. Stop trying to turn them into perfect angels and let them be normal children. If it isn't a major issue (those things that you listed are far from major issues by the way) leave them be.