Ex-Mother inlaw slandering my name to everyone?

I need some advice, I have tried to ignore it but its just too difficult when I know some people are believing the crap my ex-mother inlaw is saying, We have a small church community and the rumors have spread I almost don't feel welcome, My husband and I separated 3 mths ago and according to his mum its all my fault because I am sleeping with a female friend of mine, she has told me to my face that she has proof, and NONE of it is true I have to beautiful babies and I met this female friend in parents room when she was feeding her son, we are friends like any other friend and neither I or her are defiantly not gay, I am sick in the stomach she plays with my kids but tells me and everyone that she has proof that I sleep with females I don't know what to do, my ex agrees with her and says its true and thats what ruined our marriage, she is very controlling and if you don't do as she says ur in trouble. She has and is still humiliating me

My ex totally beleivs his mum, regrets ever laying eyes on me, never has or will stand up for me and its hard to avoid ex mother inlaw because his back with his parents so when I drop kids off she is their hugging kissing kids while spreading rumors abt me, I have confronted her she says it 100% true and her proof was god told her

I know consulting a lawyer can be costly. If you know someone who can do it cheap you should sue her for slander. Most jurisdictions allow legal actions, civil or criminal. I don't like my ex- MIL either. If this woman makes your life miserable with all of her lies and effects your daily life. The only thing you can do is suing her and her son so they know that no one can just go around and spread malicious, false, and defamatory statement about you. Maybe this way, other people want to think about it.

You don't have to move anywhere. That's your home and you have the right to live there. Don't let them push you out. Perhaps talk to the head of the church since church supposes to stop this kind of behavior. She should go to hell instead of go to church. What a hypocrite.

You need to speak to a lawyer as soon as possible. There are laws against what she is doing.

Stop talking to her and your ex. Until she can show you the proof she has of you sleeping with the other woman, ( and you know she doesn't have any) just ignore her. The more you feed into it the more she will try to upset you.

Do you think that they are saying those things so they can try to take the children away from you? It's just a thought?

i hate nosy old hags


my dad had to deal with the same thim except the gay part or sleeping around.... why cant mother in laws but out .... if i was you i would just ride it out


if you argue with her them people will think its true ......
its will be over soon just concentrate on your self and your children right now .

and for your husband shame on him for beleving his mother .....hes the one thats lost out

Unfortunately there's nothing you can do to shut her mouth, you're going to have to ignore her - you'd do best to switch churches and avoid any other contact with her that you can. I would even go as far as to move so that you can start a new life.

Move. Go to a different church. Don't talk about her as it will fuel the fire. If asked, just say you wish she hadn't left the hospital against medical advice. Let them put the rest of the story together. Keep your children away from her...if necessary by court order. She is clearly unbalanced.

i would get up in front of the church on sunday and call her out. demand that she show the proof to all or shut the hell up.

Go to a Solicitor (Lawyer) and get them to send her a letter telling her that you will sue for slander if this does not stop. That will shut her up!

so sorry to hear what you are going through, well Hun now it's time for you to have a serious talk with MIL, i say you go over there and talk to her, tell her that you do not appreciate the lies and rumors that she is spreading about you all over town, and she'd better stop with it, as it's ruining your marriage in which you know that she is the reason why the marriage is falling apart.I would definitely have a talk with her, i mean i know that the last thing on your mind right now is probably facing her, but you need to talk to her about the damages that she's doing to your marriage, she needs to stop with all the drama and mind her own damn business, and also have a talk with your husband,This is important, if you really want to save your marriage with your hubby, you really need to talk to them about it.GL.

Go to one of these "community church meetings" and if there is a microphone, (if not, just stand in front of the crowd) and say:" Excuse me ladies and gentlemen: God asked me to clear some things up for you: I am not gay, my MIL is saying horrible things about me, her son is a jerk and if you have any questions, please contact me. And, who are any of you to judge me and my life?"
I know, it is a "fantasy" to do that but other than "looking the other way", I don't see where you can honestly change a "mean and nosy MIL and ex husband" !!!

listen, your ex-mum in law can't deal with your breakup, coz she once thought you are best soulmate of her son .. her son or the grand children might have been affected by your seperation, this is why she is furious!

Anyhow, there isn't much you could do to stop her, except three options:
1) Face her and talk to her about the prob while keeping your temper in control if she trys to push your limits, deal with her in comb.
2) If you could secure another place away from this lady who is leading you to roumers, do so! At least for few days till dust settles down!
3) Talk to your ex-husband and ask him to stand for you!

Your ex-MIL sounds like a horrible gossip, and your ex-husband sounds like a loser. Obviously you already know ou are better off without him, and certainly without his family.

What you may not know is that NO-ONE can humiliate you without your co-operation.

This is simply bully tactics in ther form of scandal mongering, and your distress and upset is playing straight into their hands ~ and making a nice entertainment for your 'close friends' at church.

These people are trying to hurt you, and your kids, and are not worth your time or consideration.

May I suggest either:

1) Simply hold your head up high. Walk proud and don't let anyone tell you what to do or when. Make sure you continue your normal daily activities, including seeing your friend for coffee or whatever.

Most gossip of this kind is a nine days' wonder. people will forget about it when they see you are not about to perform lesbian sex on the pulpit, and they'll go on to torturing the next poor person. The more worried you seem, the more they'll love to watch you squirm.

Stop playing the game and they'll soon turn on someone else.

2) Or, ask your minister/priest to facilitate a meeting between you and your ex-husband. Ask the minister's wife or a senior female member of the church who is respected by others but who you are not overly friendly with, to attend so what you say is not misrepresented.

Tell your husband you have heard he and his mother are behind the rumours you've heard, and that even if they aren't, they haven't stopped them.

Let him know the kids will feel the sting of this by being teased at school and church, and they don't deserve it. Point out that the other lady would have good cause to see a lawyer and file charges for defamation.

Tell him it has to stop, and that if he is a decent man, he will put a stop to it, either by stopping it himself, or by making it known publicly that there is NO truth to these rumours. Thank everyone for attending the meeting and leave.

Of course, say it your own way and even write it down and read it out loud if you need to, there is nothing wrong with that.

Also, seek legal advice about getting protection from these people. It sounds like they are trying to set you up as an unfit mother.

And stop feeling so horrified people are calling you a lesbian. How do you imagine it makes lesbians feel when you act this way?

You think it's worse to be called a lesbian than an adulterer? Maybe you want to question those priorities a bit.

Good luck :-)

You say that you have a small church community ... Speak to your minister and tell him/her what is going on and then seek legal advice and slam the slandering controlling old bidding with a law suite.....

to be honest .. I think her behaviour may have ruined your marriage BUT IN THE LONG RUN .. possibly saved you.. you don't need a weak whimpy mummy's boy who places more into what his lying decietful mother says than what his wife says.... and you certainly deserve a better mum-in-law than that one....

I read one answer where the person suggested that you attend a church meeting and address the people ,, certainly NOT a bad idea... Do A Harper Valley PTA

I want to tell you all a story 'bout a Harper Valley widowed wife
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play
She said, "Mom, I got a note here from the Harper Valley P.T.A."

The note said, "Mrs. Johnson, you're wearing your dresses way too high
It's reported you've been drinking and a-runnin' 'round with men and going wild
And we don't believe you ought to be bringing up your little girl this way"
It was signed by the secretary, Harper Valley P.T.A.

Well, it happened that the P.T.A. was gonna meet that very afternoon
They were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard, I still recall the words she had to say
She said, "I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley P.T.A."

Well, there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there and seven times he's asked me for a date
Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lot of ice whenever he's away
And Mr. Baker, can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep her window shades all pulled completely down?

Well, Mr. Harper couldn't be here 'cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath, you'll find she's had a little nip of gin
Then you have the nerve to tell me you think that as a mother I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little Peyton Place and you're all Harper Valley hypocrites

No I wouldn't put you on because it really did, it happened just this way
The day my Mama socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A.
The day my Mama socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A.

ONLY you sock it to your mother-in-law and those who decide to believe her gossip .. ASK them if they would care to know some of the things she has told you about THEM over the years .....