My wife of 16 yrs has fallen in love with a man 1/2 her age thru Second Life, has moved out and wants divorce.

I'm 55 she's 42 and the new guy is 19. He is an avitar in Second Life and so is she. She claims she has never seen or met him only in Teamspeak and some private room they have virtual sex. She says she loves him and would sleep with him and will as soon as she has a chance. She claims she was driven to SL by my treatment of her over 16 yrs. She just fell out of love with me. She spends not less than 8 hrs a day on that thing. It's like she is addicted. How could this have happened, I have worked really hard at our marriage trying to save it but the love wouldn't return. I'm devestated......

When we married, we married for all the right reasons, I had been divorced for more that 5 years and she was never married. We dated for a couple of years and then bit the bullet. She says that she just doesn't get enough "me" time, that I'm just around way to much...I need some answers for closure, we've already filed

no marriage is perfect, and things like this happen no matter how loving and good u were to her. if she doesn't love u anymore, its time to end it, and begin a new life, and don't settle for someone who treats u with so much disrespect. she will come crawling back once this young man really meets her and sees her. but i wouldn't take her back, and suffer anymore, u deserve better, and can get it.

Working on a marriage by yourself, will never work itself out. I say let her go. If she feels that she wants a child as a mate, then by all means give her what she wants. Move on with your life, because I am sure that there are women out there who would still love to get with you.

If you know you made mistakes with her, ensure that you learn from them for the next relationship you get into.

dude, im so sorry. if shes sooo carried away there isnt much you can do. You deserve better, whatever happens is for the best so cheer up, and again, you deserve better.

I'm wondering how you've treated her over the past 16 years for her to say this is what you deserved.

Well how have you treated her other the past 16 years?

I know it hurts man but if she has given her heart to another man it will be difficult to undo. A sexual affair is one thing but an emotional affair that involves Love and feelings is a whole different animal. The only thing you have going for you is that it appears that she has not slept with him yet. If you care about her ask her to go to counseling with you. If that doesnt work ask her what you can do to make things right. Good luck...it sounds like you have a long road ahead of you.

The is life out there. It may be for the better. the guy is old enough to be her son, the fellow will wake up and see her and know he made a big mistake. Then by that time you will have already moved on with life.
Give her the divorce. The grass isn't always greener on the other side as some may thing it is.

the best to you.

If you want to email me
I am single,white, 40
here is my address

heartssnarrows@yahoo.com
I would love to hear from you even if its to vent.

I don't doubt that when the 19 y/o meets his mother, I mean 42 y/o fantasy, the relationship will implode.

SL is a dreamworld that even Arthur C. Clark couldn't envision.

I hope you find a real woman that appreciates your qualities and patience.

If she has that much time to spend online, it is apparent that she doesn't work. Does a 19 y/o who actually may be far older or even far younger have the means to support her?

Going through similar crap as we speak.First is the pain,then the feeling of betrayal,then the anger,then the thoughts of revenge,then the healing begins.
YOU need to get into counseling ASAP.THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE YOUR WIFE.Don't beat yourself up thinking that there is.
She will probably see that fantasy(Internet) and reality are different.It will be your choice to accept her back(i wouldn't) or move on with your life and seek happiness.The first choice is easier,the second is harder but IMO more fulfilling.
I wouldn't wish your/my pain on my worst enemy,but with the help of friends and a good councilor,it will get better.

She's not in love with him, she is infatuated with the idea of him. For what ever reason she was not feeling fulfilled so she sought that fulfillment elsewhere. This guy is telling her everything she wants to hear so she thinks she is in love with him.

You need to ask her to give you specifics on where she feels you have fallen short then ask her if she is willing to give you a chance if you change those things.

She may not give you that chance but that will be her loss because after she leaves you she will realize that she made a huge mistake.

Unfortunately if she is not willing to work on the marriage there is nothing you can do to save it on your own.

Good luck

What does this 19 something kid have a desire for someone old enough to be his mother?

I'm sure it isn't all your fault, but most women will have you feel like krap to believe it's all your fault. And what is this second life anyway. I've heard of second kingdom which is a medieval virtual world.

There are a lot of virtual worlds where people have avitars and portray themselves and play through their character.

Now if you were to get an account there and come up with a young avitar stud about 19 years old (Remember the song Escape ((the Pina Colada Song))) then you could sweep her off her feet.

I could coach you through virtual worlds if you would like the chance to salvage your marriage.

Dude,

Break your modem.

Go get some counselling. If not get a really good lawyer.

You dont fall out of love, she just found something exciting beyond the everyday stuff.

Besides what would a 42 year old and a 19 year old have in common. She will probobly find out he is a very fat 60 year old.