What might cause an attractive, intelligent person who comes from a good family to have low self esteem?

Even though logically I know I am all those things above, I still feel ugly, stupid and worthless. If I was in a room full of 30 people and 29 said something great about me and one said something bad about me, I would dwell on that one bad thing.

I've gained about 20 lbs and I punish myself for it. I feel like people who knew me before the 20 lbs are laughing at my excess baggage (even though logically, I know I'm a little overweight, but not sloppy fat) and people who meet me now are thinking, "What a cow".

I've completed college sucessfully, but I still feel dumb like my opinions don't matter.

JJ - I have been to therapy. They say nothing is wrong with me.

i have felt the same way for over 25 years. (i'm 36 now). i dont know how it started but it is worthless for people to tell me i look beautiful...i dont feel beautiful in any aspect of my body. when it comes down to it (in my opinion) is i am not happy with the way i look, regardless of what others say or think of me. i believe the answer lies within myself, i have to be happy with me. is that going to happen, not anytime soon. but thats just because until i can find happiness within myself its not going to matter when others say "you're beautiful".

about the feeling "dumb" thats is how i also feel. when i am around people i feel like a total dumbass. like their conversations are more important than mine. how to "cure" this problem, i have no clue. i feel again that lies within myself. i have to start trying myself to think better of myself. telling myself each day that what i say does matter.

i wish i could of been of more help. email me anytime. i wish you all the best!

You might be depressed.

Maybe you should talk to a medical doctor.

Therapists and doctors disagree all the time. One might say there is something wrong and another might not. Mental health can be a very subjective thing. Maybe you had the wrong therapist.

Maybe you can work on trying to lose the weight. That might be enough for you.

I know how difficult that it is. I have had depression and weight issues for most of my life.

This question needs to be answered in therapy. Probably some event or influence in your life has led to your feeling this way. Counseling can be very beneficial for this type of thing. It could probably be resolved fairly easily with a therapist.

I am around 20 lbs overweight myself. I had problems similar to yours, although to much lesser extent, a few years back.

I always felt that I'm not modern enough, I dress sloppily, I'm not cool. All the 'cool' girls I knew wore skimpy clothes, hung out with a lot of 'cool' guys etc... I always wondered 'Can I enter that cafe or that restaurant? Everyone looks so chic and I look like a barn animal.'
The thing is I got into a really good college with tough admissions. Then I thought those 'cool' people will end up nowhere whereas I'll be someone who matters.

The main thing I learned out of college was that what others think does not matter. 30 out of 30 can say whatever they want about me, but what finally matters is what I feel about myself, what my family and friends feel about me, what my boss thinks about me. Nobody else will be there when you are in need. The others can all go jump. If they feel I'm a cow, they are welcome to their opinion. How does it matter to me? As if my opinion matters to them.

You just need to worry about people who matter to you. And they will certainly not think badly about you.

You are a great person. Just remember that...

I used to be the same way. Then I started hanging out with nicer friends, ones who didn't criticize me all the time and try to make me feel bad. Then my self-esteem went way up! There could be a million different reasons why you feel the way you do, but they're usually simple and don't require much work to solve. Why are you punishing yourself!? You sound like such a good person. The next time someone says something bad about you don't dwell on it. Think about all the good things about yourself. Think about all your good characteristics and how you can show them that you're better than they are. Rise above the insult and be the best person you can be! :)