Marriage and online chatting.......?

I have never had a problem with my husband looking at porn from time to time. Its not my cup of tea but it never bothered me that he did it. I found out that he was having sexual chats online with some woman. He was always jumpy if i walked in the room when he was online. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to make the connection. He finally told me that he was. But that it wasn't a big deal. It was just fun and its not like they were ever gonna meet. She's married with kids too. I told him that to me it wasn't any different than if she lived next door. And how could he think i wouldn't be upset. He said he was sorry. and we talked and things seemed to be ok. now I suspect that instead of using instant messenger they are using youtube and I am pissed off! I never had a problem with porn but him talking to a live person is different and he just doesn't seem to understand. Am I wrong to feel betrayed? Cause I kinda want to punch him in the face!

Thanks for all the support! At least i know I'm not crazy! Here's the thing. I know he's not physically cheating. He works with one of my closest friends and he's always been really good about being at home to help with the kids and whatnot. he's not sneaking around on me.. It's just the computer. A computer that i am gonna threaten to lock from him if he doesn't STOP!

I AM SO WITH YOU! That is wrong!! I am dealing with the same thing. If I didnt need that computer for school I would throw it out the f@@%ing window!! They shouldn't be allowed to do that. Show him how it feels and I bet he will stop real quick! I hate porn i hate online hoes i just cant stand it! Does'nt it just make you feel like your ugly or not good enough? they tell you its not that, but what else is it?

no!
u have nothing to feel wrong about!
i would be PISSED if my boyfriend ever did that!
WOW its one thing cause porn is just paper in a magizine/video of celeb's
when its an actual person its more ... cheat-ish!
like shes not a celeb or a porn star. wtf??
he shouldnt be into it with other weman!
i would tell him he needs to quit it!
i hope things get better

I do believe that is wrong but maybe he is looking for something that he doesn't get at home. Ask him if he could spend time talking to you the way he is talking to the gal online. It could def enhance your sex life and maybe get him to stop with the online business!

He kinda deserves to be punched in the face. I am sorry to say this sounds like completely inexcusable to me. That is downright WRONG!!!! You better be monitoring his every move or be prepared for a divorce. You need to probably move on. He is cheating on you!!!

oh dear..

it is a difficult situation.
Men love porn no dubt abou it..
Although it is not a proper "cheating" BUT.. if he needs to "chat" with an other woman there must be a problem in a relationship.

I think you should really seat down and talk honestly about you two.

If this continues, I would leave him; that would be the biggest punishment. If you can't have his respect, then he can't have you.

As a joke, I would pretend to be him and talk to her- and like tell her off, he he.

no you are not wrong to feel betrayed because you already don't care that he watches porn time to time. but now he is talking on instant message with another woman and you didn't even get mad. so you gave him chances already but now he has gone too far.

I would be very upset.You have every right to want to punch him in the face.If that were my husband he wouldn't be walking for a LONG while.To me that is just as bad as actually cheating.

If he won't do it with you in the room, then it's wrong and he knows it's wrong. No matter how he tries to justify it, it's cheating.
I am sorry this is happening to you.

I would kick him in the nut... I don't have a problem with my hubby watching porn either, but if he did live chat... I would go batty on him. Is he crazy? Tell him about it and give him an ultimatum to stop. He can't keep doing this...

girl i would feel betrayed also if that was me i would throw tha damn computer away sell it or do something with it. but try to talk to him again and if it dont stop punch him in the face lol

no i been cheated on twice, she they always say the same thing. o were just onlne friends, they both were screwin on me , and i saw it with my own eyes, i aint saying he messin around, but keep your eyes open....

This guy is not satisfied with his life so he has to seek attention elsewhere even though he has a good thing with you.You can't trust this guy -he is a sleaze ball!
You can do better girl!

i agree with you... you should be really mad... and go ahead.... punch him, he deserves it!

*and by the way, how can you let him watch porn from the start?!?

i think there is your answer.....^^^

cheating is cheating is cheating. regardless of how it's done, it's still cheating.

I would be worried, Where is the line? Does he have a cam? Is that to far? I say he is wrong.

You should be betrayed and he should stop that immediately.

that is unacceptable tell him u wont put up with it ask him to share his fantasys with u and put that zing back into ur love lie good luck stay cool if he doesnt stop and talk ditry to you get rid

oh my goodness i would punch him in the face!!! its like cyber cheating! its so wrong! no its not wrong for you to feel this way!!!! gosh !

you are not wrong to feel betrayed

Ask him if it's ok for you to be doing the same?

I'm not sure what you mean about U-Tube; I thought it was just for various clips? As far as his extra-cirriculars, you have to ask yourself, "why is he chatting"? What is lacking in the realtionship that is motivating him to seek out others attention?
If you feel that you are paying attention to him and trying to keep your intimacy new and exciting, then he has no excuses to chat with ithers. However, if there is more to this than meets the eye, then you have to look long and hard what is going on; try not to be too judgemental, sometimes, people need more and if he's they type of man that has a stron libido, this may be the reason. The act of giving himself pleasure may be the tipoff. An overactive libido can cause these urges that cannot be quelled with the simple "roll in the hay" two or three times per week. You sound like a caring and sensual woman, so don't sell yourself short; be fair but firm! The best of luck to you!! In defyance of the Yahoo standards, I'm going to give you my email if you need further advice. It's perrygreenwich@yahoo.com I was accused of "soliciting" because I responded to another Posters problem and offered my opinion. I'm a married person too that is going through an intimacy dry-spell, so I have much to discuss.
Stay well :)

speaking of youtube i think you should put you punching your husband on youtube for the world to see

no you're not wrong to be betrayed because he married you and vowed to stay with you to the end do you two part. he shouldn't be talking to another woman maybe you should put some kind of computer program that blocks these sites or just ask him to stay off it but if he doesnt then i would put a blocker on the computer

good luck hope you guys work everything out alright

You are quite right to feel this strongly about this. If I caught my fiancee chatting to another woman on MSN or other I would feel really betrayed. It doesn`t matter if she lived miles away and they would never meet, I would still take it as a betrayal as such and we would definitely be having words. The chats your husband is now participating in have gone further than pay as you go and they are obviously using personal email. you need a really serious talk with him. Alternatively, get rid of the internet, or have it develop a fault for a month, that will make him show his true colours and either make him more creative (as he will have to find somewhere else to email from) or it will sizzle out.

It is a betrayal. Those little compromises lead to larger ones and eventually, if given the chance, he will physically cheat on you (if he hasn't already).

Porn is also a gateway into cheating and unhappiness. This shouldn't be tolerated either. People need to be more careful with what they allow into their minds. Just because it's available, doesn't mean it's harmless or should be viewed. Ugh.

Where the mind goes, the man follows. If he won't agree to cease all of these activities, you should leave him.

punch him, or just do the same.

I am joking.

Youtube? really? hmm , interesting.