I've been dating a married woman for 4 months now and I need some advice...?

Here's the situation. I met this girl 4 months ago and I believe its fate. She's been married for about 3 years. Her marriage fell apart about 2 years ago when she found out about her husband buying hookers while he was overseas. Ever since then her life has been hell. She gets locked in her room, pushed around, verbally abused, ect... She almost left him once and ended up getting pregnant and figured she should give it a chance. Things are now worse. Her daughter is 14 months old. We're both head over heels for each other and we've both agreed this is the best thing to happen to either of us. I ask her to leave her husband, but she says she's affraid of what we will do to her, and she thinks its best to stay right now for the sake of her daughter. We both know our lives together would be great, but she put it best when she said her husband is a tumor that won't go away. Plus he would never agree to a divorce and would fight her with lawyers... I need ADVICE!!!

He even knows about our relationship. They live in the same house but have separate rooms. She doesn't love him. I'm just not sure what to do.

You only know what she is telling you. She may not be being totally honest. (Not just men do that). Cut you losses and get out now, she's not leaving her husband for you. You deserve better.

if her marriage is so bad and she doesn't love him why doesn't she get divorced? sounds like you are being played like a 2nd hand fiddle. run for life or don't see her anymore until she moves out and gets a divorce. even if he won't agree to a divorce there are ways around it.

u need to take a step back..don't u find something odd about the whole ordeal. he knows about it and she still continues to stay. u can't make her leave and she will not go. she needs to make some decisions. and u can't make them for her. i wish u all the best u are going to need it

It is her decision to stay or leave a toxic relationship.

There is NO room in any marriage for a third person - no matter what the circumstances are.

Walk away.

#1 Call Jerry Springer
#2 Call him again in ten years, because it will be exactly the same as it is now.

She isn't going anywhere.

She's not leaving b/c she is scared, it's b/c she does not want to and I'm SURE their home life is perfectly normal and she's just having her cake and eating it too!

she's lying through her teeth to you.
i bet they live like the Cleavers and she got bored. so she's got you wrapped around her fingers like a condom.

I think she's a very creative person and gave you a big load of bs to make you feel sorry for her.

married woman ? very dangerous , her husband migth k........ you

I am being totally serious. Run for your life. You are being "played" my man!

Call Jerry Springer...he can help.

She is cheating on her husband and she is telling you that he knows about the adulterants affair? and she says she is afraid of him? This women can get up and leave when ever she wants, she is just telling you that she can't go. This doesn't make sense! and if it doesn't make sense its because it isn't TRUE! This girl is pulling your leg and your falling for all her lies, you SAP! I hope your not giving her any money, because if you are your a fool. My advice is to get out ASAP before she takes you for more besides your heart.

You need to her help her gain confidence and strength. You have to let her know that she can't let "fear" live her life for her. If she wants to leave, she needs to leave. She may think that it's not that simple but it is. She needs to secretly find a place to stay, get a restraining order against him, and file for a divorce. She shouldn't let him know where she is staying once she moves. It wants to see their child he can meet her some where public like the park, and you should go with her. This guys acts tuff because he wants her to be afraid, she can't let him manipulate her like that. Sometimes you have to show some people who is boss.

You are in love with a weak woman.

She was not very smart in getting herself pregnant, her marriage failed two years ago and she didn't think of the sake of her baby.

You are right the husband is a tumor but he is so important to the baby.

At least your girl is thinking to keep the family together.

You will loose one way or the other, this relationship is not good for you, let her deal with her life and problems and step away from the picture. You had a nice time and she is not ready for you and will not leave her husband for you.

She never makes the right decisions, and you are not one either.

as a child who grew up in a home where the parents hated one another and had violent fights i ask that you beg her NOT to stay "for the sake of her child". it only leads to a miserable childhood.

as far as fearing her husband you can look up local womens shelters and charities who can help to remove her from the situation and keep her safe, some may even help with the legal fees.

now concerning your relationship i suggest you put it on hold for now. leaving your signifcant other, no matter what the circumstances, is very tramatic and heart breaking. support her through this rough time but keep all romantic aspirations out of it, let her get her life together and finalize a divorce, THEN try to make your happily ever after.

hey cl, i would prob. just tell her look you know u don't love this guy and cl, if u feel like u like this girl you'd protect her so tell her that u won't let him do anything to her when she leaves. if the daughter is only 14 months she won't even remember all this crap that is goin on. just when she grows up let her have contact with her dad. and in court bring up the fact about the hookers, and the fact shes locked up, pushed around, and verbally abused. cl, u only get one life to live so don't let her ruin hers by bein with somebody she doesn't love.
good luck
take care

I don't know about this. If she was so unhappy & would know for a fact life with you would be great, why is she still with her husband? When you don't love the person you're with anymore, you don't live under the same roof & have a relationship with another person!

In this day & age there are such things called restraining orders. If she's so afraid what her husband will do if she left, why doesn't she take one out on him?

That's the biggest cop-out if she says that she loves you, & won't leave her husband for the sake of the child. If her life is hell, why would she want to put her daughter thru that? It sounds to me that you'd be the best guy for her, but she's taking you for a ride.

If I was unhappy with my husband who made my life hell, cheated, abused me & I had this terrific guy, I'd leave that abusive ****** of a husband in a heartbeat!!!!! It'll be hard but you have to break ties with her unless she will leave her abusive husband now.
Good Luck, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes, you have a lot to think about unless you can live the way you've been living.

Her husband is soooo horrible and yet she won't leave him?? Sounds kinda fishy to me. If she is not willing to leave an abusive situation to be with you then you need to leave her alone a find someone who isn't married. Who cares if he won't give her a divorce, she can still seperate with him! Are you sure she is being totally honest with you?? I think she's a liar and stupid for endangering her life as well as her child. Or maybe she enjoys it!!! It's not fate, find someone of your own.

you and this woman need to go and see a counselor together. and if this babies dad is as volatile as he sounds then i highly doubt that it is best for the baby to be around him when he sounds as if he is going to crack any minute.

if this woman loves you so much, she should be with you. right now her mid is probably clouded with fear. she loves you, she loves her daughter, she hates her husband, she fears her husband.....there is a lot going on here and its a very complicated situation. you need to sit down with some one to help you and hash it out, one problem at a time. i can understand why she wouldnt want to leave her husband if you were unable to provide a good home for her and her daughter but from the way you are talking it sounds as if you can. your wife might be scared of her husband but she needs to bite the bullet and file for divorce - if you cant convince her of that then no one but herself can.

wish i could be more help but the only thing that can sort this out for good are the decisions that this woman makes. good luck!

There's little you can do to make someone do something. You can always suggest, but whether or not they take your advice is always up to them in the end.

It's pretty obvious she is in a "bad situation" and I'm sure since your feelings are so strong for her it's hard to hear about and even harder to watch. But you have to remember she is an adult, and she knows what's right and she has been given the opportunity to get out of the situation -yet she hasn't taken it. She states she is afraid of her husband, but she should be more afraid of what her child witnesses. If things are so bad, the "sake of her daughter" depends upon her to make things good.

You need to be aware that sometimes emotions get in the way of what is right/wrong. And sometimes they can even make you do things that you regret. If you step in the middle of this marriage in any way, it could make things worse. My fiance was still married when I met him and although I'm glad to say I had nothing to do with their split (we met afterward) and I never got in the middle, I am sorry that I only "heard" his side. Not that I would ever ask his ex wife what happened/her opinion now. I'm just saying I walked into that relationship thinking he was an "angel" and he's a good man and father, but -he's got faults to which I chose not to "recognize" at the time. So don't go into this thinking that just because he was a cheat and he beats her that she's completely innocent. I'm not saying it's right -but she LET'S this happen. So stepping in the middle is risky not only for her on her end, but for you and that little girl.

I would only SUGGEST that 1) she doesn't want to let her daughter grow up witnessing violence in the home, 2) that if she did leave him for you that you will make sure she is safe from harm at all times and that 3) she will be just as taken care of if not more than he could do. Above all, she should 4) think about her health and happiness as well and do what she wants to do, even if she is afraid to. 5) There is no reason to remain in a relationship with someone if you are completely unhappy and don't even share the same ideas, goals, or for that matter the same room.

She will either take you up on your offer (maybe not right away) or totally disregard what you have to say. If she does not help herself, then how can you help her?