Why did he turn down a date?

I'm such a typical girl! There's this guy at work . . . we flirted, alot, he took my phone number, he asked me to meet up via text that nite. I said no, too short notice. So, I suggest an alternative date and he says no. I ask why and he says that he's just come out of a relationship, he's in a new job and is new to London and he needs simplicity so that he can focus - ie. not me! There's a definite attraction there - sparks positively fly! I don't understand why he's back tracked! I know he likes me but he just doesn't have room for me in his head it seems. He works on my floor at work, and it took alot of courage for me to ask him out, and typically, I have a really bad crush on him now. How should I play it? Any advice gratefully received. Muchos gracias.

I'd suggest that you act if as nothing has happened and/or as if nothing has changed. Meaning...that he never sent the text invite and you never proposed the alternative date. You were smart to refuse the text invite (it was too short notice) and give him an alternate invite. His refusal speaks volumes. He's looking for a 'friend with benefits' and doesn't want to make the effort to start a new relationship. Just as well...especially since he's your co-worker. Get over the crush and enjoy the special spark at work....just don't attempt to take it further than that. This guy has too many issues to deal with and you don't seem like the type that will accept being a 'booty call'. Good Luck

Play it cool. Subdue the crush and pretend nothing happened, you don't want to lose face by asking again, and, possibly get turned down, again. If he really want's he'll ask you.

From a boys opinion, there's nothing less attractive than a girl who clearly wants you, keep asking you, it will only encourage pity.

He asked you out on text and you refused!
He's thinking how dare she turn me down,etc ....it sounds to me like he has the bigger than average ego and hes not a bit pleased that you didnt jump to attention!
Hes into you alright ......he wouldnt have asked you out otherwise but hes more interested in teaching you a lesson.
Id say keep your perspective or keep away. best of luck x.

He sounds like the type that can't take no for an answer so instead tries to "get you back" by saying no to you. I would forget him he sounds like his ego has been bruised, you wouldnt want a relationship with a guy like that . The fact he said all the stuff about the job etc aswell hes not worth your thoughts!

i say let him get his stuff together, and if you can respect that, maybe when hes ready to date he'll remember the girl who knows how to give some space, and had a cute flirt session way back when. he may have important stuff to focus on and doesnt wanna commit til hes stable, which is worth waiting for!

Do not try to hard on this guy he is not a person for you it seems he is a person that have a lot on his mind, If you have a crush on this guy do not show it ,

Give him time to get his head on straight and if it is meant for you two to get together then you will.Enjoy the flirting together as that will let him know you are still interested.

Maybe he's just telling the truth, that he doesn't want to rush into anything right now.

Maybe he needs to set things straight. You don't ask him to do things, he asks you.

the easiest way to lose something is to want it too much! play it cool, but warm enough that he knows you're still interested (the odd smile and good morning etc). if he likes you he will come to you.

Maybe he felt rejected when you said no?
Really, you should just ask him why he'd ask you out
then say no when you ask him.
It's better then just wondering.
And it's only scary and awkward for a little.

just give him so time. he just came out of a relationship. give about a week and then ask him again. it's obvious that he likes you. so, just wait a while and don't anything.

my guess is infatuation...just ignore him and make him fume the day that he did not agree for a re-date. im sure he will eventually come around. he sounds like a prick though.

If a guy really likes you he doesn't make excuses why he's not dating you.

He's just not that into you.

he prolly had a really bad break up, and not to be rude but that night he prolly wanted some. what your explaining tells me he flirts cause of the "want some" but nothing more if he just got out a long crappy relationship.

He's not ready for a relationship and senses that you are.
Let it be. Find someone outside of work.

PLAY HARD TO GET, BACK OFF AND ACT LIKE YOUR NOT INTO HIM ANYMORE AND HE WILL COME-A RUNNIN IN A WEEK

Maybe sparks aren't flying... Maybe you just like him...

playin hard to get...woman like that, obviously you're falling for it.

Wow! it seems like this guy is going through alot just try being his friend

you don't go out with co-workers. It will cause trouble when you break up

well he was probably trying to get back at you for declining his offer... this really depends on how much you know him...

because u are ugly

mete mano! go 4 it

maybe he is just a flirt and maybe you two are not right for each other

It's not an easy thing to figure out really. I agree he's a bit confusing.

Which is why I can only come up with one possible answer to his behavior.

When he asked to meet up, it was for purely "hanging out" reasons. Like he suggested, he's new there, in many ways. And didn't want anything serious.

The sudden, short notice meeting was very laid back to him, casual, just to hang out. Whether you feel there is a connection, that you believe both of you share or not, is a different issue. And apparently one that he isn't willing to explore. At least not right now. He wasn't looking for anything serious. Because you're within the same building. And he's just arrived. So if things didn't work out, he's well aware of how that usually goes. That old expression, which I'm sure you've heard across the ocean before, "You don't s**t where you eat". In this case, if you started something, more than something casual, and it got into a actual relationship, and later didn't work for one reason or the other, he'd have to see you daily, and you him. And that's never a good thing after people break up.

He just wanted a girl to hand out with, experience the city with, and maybe flirt a bit more for fun. But he wasn't looking an for actual official date, or anything that might be taken as such.

He wanted a quick spur of the moment hanging out thing, and you seemed like you were turning it into an actual date. He didn't want to go that far as to date someone within his building. Because it's usually a bad idea, and for anyone, a guy or girl to do that, there has to be a big connection, something formed over more than a few days or weeks. Because if it fails, then it's difficult going to work each day knowing you'll see that person.

To not waste your time, I'd try to ignore any feelings of connection you have, and let it go. If he decided there is truly some connection, he's more than likely aware you like him in some way. So he'd ask you again later. But for now, he did you a favor regardless. Because it's a big mistake 9 times out of 10, to begin anything where you are at often. Whether it be a local gym, health club, work, etc

He just arrived, and wants to explore his options. As a guy, even I feel bad saying that. But everyone has that feeling at times. When they're new, whether it's in school, or new in town, they want to make sure they are seeing someone they want to have a relationship with. Otherwise, any girl who's just for casual dating, and nothing more, is usually someone they aren't seeing everyday at the office. Because they can dump and move on easier.

Cheer up, there's other fish in the sea, and this whole thing would of ended up smelling bad any way lol (sorry, lil joke).

Seriously, consider yourself lucky, would you want to go on a few dates, and have it not work, and see him every day after each morning? Or have it end up in bed even, and then have to see him if he moves on later and takes up with another girl. You'd be seeing him every day still, and that'd make it difficult for the both of you. Many people have made this mistake, and ended up feeling they rather find a new job than see an old ex each day.

Good luck!