I am a 23 y/o part-time entertainer who is in a retarded relationship. I've been with a man for damn near...

I am a 23 y/o part-time entertainer who is in a retarded relationship. I've been with a man for damn near a year now who lives a double life. When we first met, I was under the impression that he was single. As we got to know each other, I felt like it was time to see where he lays his head at night. When I asked to hang out with him at his house he always found some excuse to tell me why we can't hang out over at his place. Now I'm not a dumb ***. I put things together. Obviously this guy had something to hide. After I developed feelings for him, all of a sudden he supposedly just finds out he鈥檚 going to be a daddy by some chick who was already 6 months pregnant by him (ummm鈥?sure he just found this out uh huh). SO I put 2 and 2 together and realized that鈥檚 explains why I can鈥檛 chill at his place. Now you may say why stay with him? Well I stay because I basically settled for it.. I can either be alone until I dig someone the way I did him (whenever that may be) without the retarded situations or I take the risk to be with him and hopefully he will keep his word. Before we met I had been single for a long time. I did have my little flings but altogether there was no special guy in my life. I met him, liked him, and made the choice to give him a try ( I can鈥榯 lie ,I was really really really digging this guy). I don't really go out to clubs. I work in a club and choose not to date guys I meet at work, so that鈥檚 the last place I'd think about going to for hooking up. I just like to hang out and chill. Since I don't really go out, I don't have the opportunity to meet a GOOD MAN and I refuse to get with the guys at my job. I stay with him because I didn't want to have to go through the process of meeting and getting to know a guy that I like a lot again. He supposedly claims that he will leave her (his baby mama). Now I've heard of this kind of talk before. I鈥檝e had friends who've had men say the same **** to them and of cores that never happened. I went as far as asking him for a deadline to see if he was being for freakin real. Whenever I ask, he gets all upset at me for wanting to know when I will get to have a normal relationship for once in my life. I want to believe him but at the same time, I want to stop doing this to myself but I don't want to be alone. Even though we are together, sometimes I still feel alone which is why I ask myself why do I even bother. I like him like a crackhead likes crack. You know how a crackhead would do just about anything for crack, well he鈥檚 my crack. Its like you know its bad for you, but you just can鈥檛 stop doing it to yourself. I mean he鈥檚 with me in the daytime but he鈥檚 at home with his babymama and kids at the end of the day. Night time is when I get so lonely, I hate sleeping by myself. And its so hard to sleep at night because I think about what they can possibly be doing at home. Like is he in the same room with her or are they holding each other? I don't know. But what I do know is that I need someone to be holding me. I'm just tired of feeling worthless and alone. Should I leave and be lonely for a long time or should I put up with it and hopefully he will keep his word and leave her? I feel so dumb. I feel like I鈥檓 being played BIG TIME but I want to be wrong so so bad.

Hey...Ok truth be told this is more of a issue you have to deal with yourself b/c in the end only you can take yourself away from him...I sympathize with you because i know how it feels to an extent, in the issue of having someone u care about not give you there whole heart, and in the issue of really not wanting to be alone...You are nothing worthless, i say that not knowing you, but seeing the amount of feelings you have for him, that takes a lot to go through what you've walked. I know how you feel, but think of it this way can you go on this way? What if he never breaks ties with her and you have to deal with unneccessary heartbreak later on? If he has her in the house at the end of day, i dont think they playing it safe sleeping in two different rooms, in a way its suspicious how someone could wanna get rid of there baby-mama but still have them in the house...So my advice to you, Dont ever be down on yourself, you are not dumb nor worthless...You are not alone in your feelings theres alot of people who dont wanna be alone, me included...But wouldnt you rather try to find a way to cope/deal and then conquer this feeling early rather than have him drag it out? Sit down, collect yourself, relax, and know you are worth ten times what your being treated...Then ask yourself is this worth it? Can i deal with this? and is there a pay off in the near future? If no, then leave, cry your tears, vent, rant and rage, then get a teddy bear and lay ya head down knowing everything will be ok...You wont be alone forever, and you always can hit me up if u want a friend! hope i've helped even if just a lil, take care and hold ya head up!

It may sound harder than you think but, you know it is ok to be alone don't you? The hardest part is letting go of something that you wanted so badly. You want a relationship who is not completely available. I think that even if he may want to leave, maybe he just can't because of the responsibility of his kid/kids. You should never be put in the situation where you are unsure about what you are doing or where your future is going with him while he is securing himself and his family. Your story is all too common. I am a strong believer that things happen in their own time. You will find someone when the time is right. Don't worry about when or how much work you will have to put in to get there again with another man. No one ever said life was going to be easy. For some of us, things happen easily and for others it can take patience and perseverance. Be patient and don't settle for less than what you think you deserve.

Why don't you go around to were he lives some night and see whats going on If hes seeing you while being with some one else even if things aren't good for him whats the chance he would do the same to you at some stage

I know being alone sucks but being in relationship with someone who has a family that they are still with seems like a bad idea.

If he got upset when you approached him with a deadline that probably means he doesn't want to leave his "baby mama".

Also, think about the other woman. How would you feel if you were 6 months pregnant and found out the father was cheating on you?

Finally, if he would cheat on his previous girl and leave her for you what's to say he wouldn't do the same thing to you when a new girl comes along.

I've been alone for a long time too and I am an ECE so all the guys I meet are about 10 years older then me and have wives and kids. I know how tempting it is to stay it a bad relationship just so you aren't alone but it really isn't worth it. I don't like going to clubs either ... my friends keep telling my to join some kind of hobby group to meet a guy ... maybe you could try that?