Me and my child's father has never been married and we have been on and off again for years he was controlling and not very nice at times. So we would break up and he would sware up and down he would stop drinking and stop all the controlling behavior and so on. I caught him cheating on me once and I believed he would change and would take him back I guess for the sake of our daughter really so she could have both her parents there. After so many years of on and off again and when something better would come along in his life he would go off and do that and we wouldn't hear from him see him nothing. Every time he would mess up and or leave us for something or someone else I was like a doormat I always feel for that whole routine he would change and let him right back into our lives just so not far down the line he would walk right back out again.
He didn't help me support our child so I went after him for child support. He has never helped me when child care cost nothing sometimes he would have insurance on her sometimes he wouldn't. Will about a year and a half ago I gave him his last chance we put my daughter in school where he lived and we would stay with him all the time back and forth from my apartment to his house often. Well that lasted not even a month he started seeing someone and it was the forget about us time again. I really didn't hear from him much at all that whole summer into fall he seen his child maybe twice during all those months.
Well he decides that it's time for him to come back into the picture yet once again and let's be a family and like always act like nothing ever happened. But this time I said no I have moved on and I'm tired of being his doormat and I'm tired of him promising he would pick up our child and spend time with her and everything else he has promised and like always all he does is break those promises. He got mad at me and I didn't hear from him for a long time then one day out of the blue he calls and wants to see us. He ask about our child and her school and so on and I told him we can work something out for our child but I have moved on and have been seeing someone an old friend I have known for a long time and we are going to get married.
He hung up on me I didn't hear from him again for awhile then he started calling me all the time and my family and making a seen. He was always treating to come and take my daughter from me.
Well soon after I get court papers saying he is suing me for full custody. He wanted me to even work with him and do joint custody I didn't think it was fair to our child because I always have supported her and been the one there and he has nothing to do with her school or anything. I have to move twice one I was living in based on your income housing because I was supporting our daughter by myself and money was tight but we got by. Once I got married I had to move because our income was to much to live there anymore. So he is trying to use that against me in court saying she needs a stable environment. Which is unfair she has a stable environment and I wouldn't have had to live based on my income housing in a town I hated if he would have helped me with anything. So the last court hearing his lawyer said they can't prove me unfit so they request a guardian and iltem.
Well the guardian and iltem met with him and my daughter and will all week he has been telling her what to say and what not to. To tell this person she wants to live with him and go to school where he lives. Well when they all met the guardian and iltem was talking to my daughter about school her sports and friends me. This person brought up something about her dad and my daughter said she wants to stay in school where she lives and she wants to stay with her mommy she has always lived with her mommy. So after the guardian and iltem left my ex's house him and his mom went off on her my ex called her a dummy and her mom said I don't understand you that was such a stupid thing to say.
So my daughter came home upset that her dad lied he told her was the only one who lived in his house and my daughter had her own room which his gf and her kid I guess lives with him most of the time stays there or something and that's her kids room not my daughters.
When he brought my daughter home he went off on me and I could tell my daughter was about to cry so I knew something must have happened. He said a lot of mean things to the both of us then later called being all nice like nothing ever happened. that same person is coming to my home in about a week to meet with me and then me and my daughter. Sense my daughter came out and said that does he still have a chance of taking her away from me? This is her fear she wants to stay with me and she is scared he will get custody of her. I just wanted to share what's going on and see what others think. Thanks for reading. I also wanted to add I don't like the fact him and his mother for being mean to her because she spoke up and went against what they wanted and told her to say. That's all my child said she has a fear of her father and she said no way would she have said anymore than that she didn't want to get smacked. He does smack her when she doesn't do or say what he tells her. It would do me no good because he is a cop and this has been brought up before and nobody would do anything about it not even children services my lawyer said we were going to try and get him under the civil law for something's that has happened in the past. But basically nobody would listen to my daughter and always took his side over hers like she was lying and he is a police officer he would never do such a thing. Not much a person can do when nobody will help you. You can point out in court, if the question arises, that police offers are human too. Therefore they DO lie. And then remind the court of people like Mark Fuhrman. A 20 year police officer with 55 commendations that was charged with perjury for lying on the stand in a murder trial.
There are ALOT more examples than that. simple...tell the courts that he is abusive...hopefully you may have called the cops on him once or twice...and that should be able to prove he's a dead beat...also bring up the fact he doesn't help support your kid and that he has cheated on you.
He's obviously using her for one of two reasons...because it appears to me he's a selfish douche who doesn't care about anybody but himself...he either wants to abuse her in some way (abusers love having somebody to push around all the time and if it's not you anymore than it might as well be the extension of you...nv that its his kid too but that's beside the point)..OR...he's just using her as a pawn to piss you off because you didn't give him what he wants.
you must do everything in your power to fight for your little girl. She only has one childhood...and one life to live for that matter and although the turmoil of whats going on now is bad...what could possibly happen to her if you let him have her could be way worse.
good luck Hi.. i'm sorry your daughter is having such a horrible time.
Maybe it's time you request she has a chance to talk with the judge (ALONE) about her preferences, if there is going to be a custody hearing. If there isn't, maybe you could get an attorney to request one!
Your daughter really needs to make her own choices and be heard, in a neutral place, without either parent being present... She need not be scared about talking with the judge, because they are used to talking with children, and help in every way they can.
If you haven't tried legal aid, i hope you can find an attorney who will help (and they can also ask the judge to have your husband pay for your court costs).
Hon, i had an ex husband who took me back to court for custody of our son. He threatened our son with terrible things, if he didn't tell his father's attorney he wanted to live with his father.
My son did NOT want to live with his father, and was so afraid of his father, he even told me he wanted to live with his dad.
If i would have known, i would have requested the JUDGE himself talked with my son, but i really thought he wanted to try living with his father.
Do what you have to, and i sure hope you get some good answers here. sending all best wishes. why have you not called the police on this!!!!!!! call her school she needs to tell someone and call CPS o your husband!! have her tell them what he does to..he will lose her and you get her..he is an A HOLE and dont wait! They absolutely will not take her out of your home and put her somewhere she does not want to be unless you are unstable. If you are homeless, or on drugs, or any other reason a court would find you unfit, they always favor the mother. Especially if you and your daughter both tell the courts about his personality and verbal abuse. He will | 