Love Struck
One day at a football game, my friend Jen and I were crushing on a couple football stars. We are just like "Oh my goodness! He is SO cute!!" Jen said, "He is such an angel!" She was drooling over him and it was like she was hypnotized!!! I knew that she would be upset when she finds out he has a girlfriend. All the sudden, he came out with his girlfriend. I looked at Jen, and her smile soon turned into a frown and she started to run. I felt so angry about that, she really liked him, and she day dreamed about him every day. I soon realized that he was actually cheating on her!!! I thought that she was going to die. I soon ran after her and saw her at the park with her sunglasses on, in her favorite tree crying. When I found her, I was comforting her, saying that it would be alright, and she could get a new boyfriend. I told her I wouldn鈥檛 tell anyone about it, and that he was such a nerd anyway. I tried to convince her that he was mean and that he doesn鈥檛 deserve a girl like her. She believed me after a while, and she said, "I just really liked him. I spent days laughing with him and talking on the phone. I had my first kiss with him!'' she blushed. I said "You kissed him!?!?! I didn鈥檛 know you ever had your very first kiss! What was it like?'' "Well," she said, "it was during a football game. He went to come sit with me in the front row during a time out. He cared more about me than listening to the coach. He came over to me and said, 'I love you and I don鈥檛 want to be with anyone else.' and then we kissed!! It was so romantic...'' I couldn鈥檛 understand her anymore because she started to cry. I could barely understand her saying '' I miss him so much'' by now, she just hugged me saying, "He was the best guy there ever was. I loved him more than anyone else!!!!! And I thought he loved me too! He is a liar.'' 鈥淚 know, and I hate him for it. I just think you should move on and forget about him. He is stupid. He doesn鈥檛 deserve you, Jen! He just doesn鈥檛!!!鈥?Jen said, 鈥淒o you know who was with him?鈥?I knew who was with him, but I knew it would make her cry more. Instead I just changed the subject. 鈥樷€橦ow about you come over to my house tonight? I know it would be a tough night all by yourself. If you want, we can invite Katie and Lora too. I am sure it would be no problem.鈥?Jen was quiet for a few minutes, I think she was just sinking it all in. Soon she said, 鈥淭hat would be fine. But I would rather it just be you and me. I really don鈥檛 want anyone else seeing me like this. That鈥檚 why I am up here in this tree with my sunglasses on.鈥?鈥淥k, that will be fine. How about we go to your house and tell your parents what鈥檚 up, and then if you want, we can go shopping. I have been saving up my allowance for weeks.鈥?Jen wiped away her tears and then smiled. 鈥淵ou rock!!!!! That will be fun!!! I have been saving up too. Let鈥檚 stick with your plan. Just don鈥檛 tell anyone about what happened today. Ok?鈥?鈥淭alk about what?鈥?We started to laugh. There was my old Jen again. On our way to her house, we were talking about everything that we always do. But then a question popped up in my head. I just blurted out on accident, 鈥淲hy didn鈥檛 you tell me you were going out?鈥?Jen tried to change the subject, but I wouldn鈥檛 let her. She just said, 鈥淏ecause I didn鈥檛 really think we would keep on going out. I thought it would just be one day, but I was wrong, it was a whole month. I didn鈥檛 want to get you all excited that I had a boyfriend, until I knew it was the right time. Last night was when we had our kiss. I was going to tell you today, but鈥︹€?Her voice trailed off. I knew I shouldn鈥檛 have asked her. 鈥淪orry, Jen, I spoke without thinking.鈥?鈥淭hat鈥檚 okay, if it was me, I would have done the same thing!鈥?So we kept on walking, and when we got to Jen鈥檚 house, she ran in, got her stuff and we left. We were on the way to my house, when we met the guy that cheated on Jen. He was out walking with his girlfriend. Jen said, 鈥淗ey Duke, who is that?鈥?She acted as if she never knew anything. Jen just wanted to see his reaction. 鈥淯h, hi Jen, this is my cousin, yeah, this is my cousin, Tara.鈥? 鈥淥h, really? I guess she doesn鈥檛 come around often. I have never seen her before. Nice to meet you Tara. Well, I got to go. Bye my love bug!!!鈥?Secretly, I gave Jen a high-five as we started back to my place. We heard Tara yelling in back of us, 鈥淲HO IN THE WORLD WAS THAT?!?!?!? ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME DUKE?!?! THAT鈥橲 IT, IT鈥橲 OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH!!鈥?Tara walked away very mad. We walked over to Duke, with his mouth hanging wide open. He struggled to say what he wanted to say. He finally managed to find his words, and said, 鈥淯h, Jen, hi my little love bug!! Want to go see a movie?鈥?I was just wondering what Jen was going to say, if she would say anything. 鈥淩achael, can you leave us alone for a few minutes?鈥?she said. 鈥淪ure, I will meet you at my house. See ya, Duke.鈥? On my way back home, I was wondering how Duke had gotten into this mess. I also wondered what Jen was going to tell him. When I got home, I asked my mom if Jen could stay over. She said it was okay. So I went to my room, and got my money, and then went back out onto the porch, and saw Jen sitting there, and to my surprise, she wasn鈥檛 crying. When she saw me she started to laugh. I was confused. Why was she laughing? I had to find out. 鈥淛en, what did you do to Duke?鈥?Jen said, 鈥淟et鈥檚 walk and I鈥檒l talk.鈥?On our way to the mall, she told me the whole story. She told Duke that he was stupid and that he should have learned from today. She said that he told her that he knew, and he asked her if they were still going out. Jen said, 鈥淲ell, I said, 鈥榊OU THINK I WOULD GO OUT WITH YOU AGAIN? GOOD GRIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GET DUMPED TWICE IN ONE DAY. GOOD GOING DUDE!!鈥?It was just hilarious seeing his reaction. Then he said, 鈥榊eah, I know. But I am a hunk. Everyone will go out with me.鈥?I was surprised at what he said, so I turned around and said, 鈥楴ot after I tell them what you did to me and Tara!鈥?After I said that he just kind of shrugged and walked away.鈥?I started laughing. Then Jen started to laugh. We thought it was hilarious. Later that night, Jen and I stayed up late. We couldn鈥檛 sleep. We thought about how funny Duke鈥檚 face was when Tara dumped him. At about 3:00 AM, we finally fell asleep. We slept until 10:00 the next morning. We decided instead of going to the football game, we had a girl鈥檚 night out. Jen, Tara, Lora, Katie, and I all had a party. All of us were single, so all we talked about was boys. We went to a restaurant and then to a dance club. We danced the night away. When we got home, we were all tired, and all we could think about was going to sleep.
THE END I know it's not the best. But it's the best I have ever written. I am young, so it's not like I have had a lot of experience or anything well you dont have very much experience but the base lines are there.. you just need to develop the story more.. add more suspense and adjecitves and verbs ETC...keep writing.. I liked it! couldn't stop reading it, you have to see what will happen next! very long!
well, nice plot too but not well developed
u got a long way to go |
