Should I make my husband choose me over his family?

My husband and i are an interracial couple (he's white, i'm black) and we have 2 children together, and have been married for 3 years. I am tired of his family mistreating me.... I put up with slander, gossip, racial slurs and sabotage and i am SICK of it! I have forgave them over and over and over and i'm not handing out chances anymore. A few weeks ago at my husbands' neices birthday party, his dad anounced in front of a group of nearly 50-60 people, "I don't know whats wrong with my son getting with people from other races and making kids" I was SO humiliated. Every one immediatly stared at me, and the whole room got quiet. I was so hurt and embarrased , tears started welling in my eyes... my husband was inside when it happened so i didnt tell him until we left because i know he would have said something and then his family would have accused me of starting drama. I recently found out that his sister gave his ex his phone num and tried to take her to his job to meet on him

on his lunch break so that his ex could tell my husband that she had a dream that her and him got married (but he wouldnt let his sister bring his ex). I only found out because i read an email that she sent him asking my husband why wount he talk to her. I was so hurt.. and it makes me want to cry typing about it. This happened nearly 6 months ago.. so I dont want to look like an *** bringing it up. What should i do?? I am tired of his family doing things like this to me. Talking with them is not the answer because we've done that several times. I don't know what else to do... i mean, i show up at a family event and his mom and sisters have invited his exes. It makes me feel so stupid. My husband is REALLY close with his family and i really understand that. I know there is something good in those people, i mean they helped make my husband the wonderful person he is, but at the same time i dont want anything to do with them anymore.

Well, "making him choose" is a bad idea, regardless of the situation. The person issuing the ultimatum almost always loses.

However, as your husband, he SHOULD be standing up to them. Not just for you, but for his kids as well, because they're being just as mean and horrible to them as they are to you. If he isn't protecting his own kids from insults and abuse, he is not acting like a good father.

If I had been at that party, I would have immediately taken my kids and left. I'd tell my husband exactly why, and give him the option of staying, but without me. No one should have to put up with that garbage. Who cares if his family accuses you of starting drama? It's not like their opinion of you can get any lower, and you have got to stand up for yourself. And anyway, he can't possibly stand up to them if he doesn't even know what's going on.

I think if it were me, I would avoid all contact with them, and refuse to let them see the kids. He could go over to their place, but they would not be welcome in my house. If they grow the hell up and learn to start treating you and THEIR OWN GRANDKIDS like actual human beings, then the deal can be renegotiated. But you should be able to live in peace without having to deal with attacks from your in-laws.

Well, I would.

You and your children are his new family. Just asking him would certainly clarify for you where his loyalties actually lie. And you need to tell him everything that goes on.

Furthermore, I would make every effort to move to another state or country. It's a big world.

dont put yourself or your children through this anymore , they want to see you or the children they know where you live spend more time with family that want and love you and your children unconditionally!!

i think if she would let me know when they say something so dose not let me know when they say something but i bet she will delet this cause it is the truth i will i take care of it point blank .