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How to deal with (a) bitchy woman? =/?


i come from a line of fiercely independent women (and yes i know, independence doesn't necessarily have to translate to bitchy) but i myself am really anything but - i'm hypersensitive and tend to let other people direct my feelings, and how i view myself. so when it comes to dealing with my boyfriend's bitchy roommate and friend, i begin to look less forward to meeting him altogther. she will often ramble, say things of irrelevance and often be harsh/rude behind my back (put an emphasis on things like "HER culture" when talking about me, because i'm clearly the most different person in the room ethnically). she'll also snap at me for absolutely no reason. although i've dealt with people like that even within my own family before, confronting them has usually led to a whole lot of pain. i think it causes unnecessary conflict and makes me feel even more shitty about myself. on the other hand, i'm losing any ounce of self-respect i've had. what should i do?

she could be a closet racist, but i don't really know for sure :( i guess because people tend to throw jokes around so much, concealing the amount of prejudice they actually might have. so when she talks about my culture or religion, i don't know if it's out of spite (since she's so bitchy) or because she really has a thing against 'my kind of people'.

if she's a racist, she doesn't deserve any respect

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