How do i know if this girl is a lesbian and in to me?

i met a girl thru a mutual friend recently. she is my freind's room mate. i am married and she has a boyfriend. ever since i've met her we always catch eachother staring at eachother and i know why im staring at her (cuz i want her) but i dont know why she stares at me. my friend tells me she asks about me a lot, and me and this girl have became freinds over the course of time. we comment back and forth on myspace and stuff, but never really became really good freinds. i still see her once in a while, but she is with her boyfreind almost all the time. when the subject of gay or lesbian comes up she acts like its the worst thing in the world and she's disgusted by it...for example, the friend i have is bisexual and hits on her jokingly and she gets all pissy over it. but then sometimes she plays along wtih it. i cant read her!! but i want to know if all those 'staring contests' had anything to do with her wanting me as bad as i want her!even my own husband noticed the staring and asked

i didnt ask if i should be pursuing this, i'm aware that i'm married. i asked how i could tell if she was in to me. i didnt ask to be judged or told i was wrong for being interested. i already know all that. and by the way my husband does not care at all, and he actually told me he wouldnt mind if i pursued it.
why do people always have to put their 2 cents in, just answer the ******* question and if you think i am wrong for asking then move on and dont answer it! im a grown *** woman, i dont need people i dont even know telling me how to live my life. i asked a question about something completely different than "am i wrong for liking another woman while i'm married". THAT WAS NOT THE QUESTION. damn this is a site meant for questions ONLY and you would think people would understand they should just answer the question asked and get to the point of the question, not judge people and tell them what to do.

Well if you're married, why are you hitting on her?

Well, ask her sometime in private and see where it goes... be casual about it when you ask, but don't beat the bush to much, if you know what I mean.

If you are married, then you should be a faithful wife and not pursue this any further. I am a lesbian and I am still advising you to forget about this because I believe that a married couple (straight or gay) should not have affairs or other lovers involved. If you want women that badly, get a divorce.
That's my 鈾€鈾€ advice.