I love my boyfriend, but I have to always be the responsible party; why?

My boyfriend is a dear but not necessary fully actualized. When I met him, he was making $80k/ year & sleeping on a mattress on the floor in a room he rented from his cousin. 32 years old, no 401k, & honestly a sweet guy. We've lived together for nearly a year.

Well, I turned 27 on Saturday, but my boyfriend wanted overtime, so we celebrated on Friday night. All that I wanted was the white cake that comes in a box, and a little gift like coasters for work. He bought be an ice cream cake instead because he "didn't want to take the time to bake the cake" (15 mins.) & he likes ice cream cake better.

Earlier in the week, he pointed to coasters he bought back from vacation, and told me to "pick one." I did thinking I had something larger coming for my birthday. Friday night, while we were eating ice cream cake, he told me he "owed me 1 [a present]."

I wanted to be a little pampered, but the night ended with me crying and him calling me spoiled & never happy. Explaination?

It seems to me that this is just his personality and not a reflection of his feelings for you. He probably doesn't realize how much it would mean to you to be pampered, because it isn't important to him. Spell out to him exactly what you need and want from this relationship. You may also just have to accept the fact that this is who he is. If you can't, it may be time to cut ties and move on.

The cake, I wouldn't make a big deal about. Ice cream cakes are good. A cake is a cake. It would have been nice if he had bought the cake you wanted though, because it was your birthday, not his.
I am not sure what the deal was with the coasters. BUT, you are not spoiled. It was your birthday. You wanted the night be special and he is spoiled for making you cry on your birthday. If he tells you, you are spoiled and unhappy, tell him well...I deserve a little love and attention, not too much but at least a thought in knowing I am thought of and appreciate to where you could at least get me the right cake. And then through in there, if it appear I am unhappy, why do you think I am unhappy...Tell him to go look in the mirror. Hopes things work out for you!