I have been having a affair with the vicars wife?

We meet every Sunday after service , for conjugal pleasures at a seedy bed and breakfast , you can rent the room by the hour its 拢12.50 and 拢15.00 with sheets.
The vicars wife wants the sheets is she being unreasonable?

My Dear Sir,
Noooo!!! I heard the vicar`s wife is often three sheets to the wind when she enjoys a lil Afternoon Delight with you...THROW caution out the window..your penny-pinching ways are PILLOW the belt... so DUVET improve your love-making techniques ?? ...sheets soak up stains...I`d get them NOW...!!

I think not, if the vicar can enjoy the altar boys dressed in sheets, then why cannot she not enjoy herself with you in the hygienic surroundings of fresh sheets?
If it was me I would demand champagne and lobster bisque on arrival, followed by strawberries and cream.
By the way, my picture is of Edmund Barton, I am actually a female, so my "if it was me" comment was purely platonic.

Thank goodness you're not an R.C., old man - you'd be jolly well buggered if you were, what!

Let the poor woman have the sheets if it makes her happy. It can't be much fun being married to the vicar of your parish, unless you've got a new chap. But by the way, if he's at least seventy, how old actually IS his wife? Sounds a tad dodgy, old boy.