Is this a gd starting 4 my stroy, wud u read more to kno wah happened 2 him?

鈥? Hey, my names Lewis Carters you might of heard of me my nickname is the king of the aces. I鈥檓 a two time world heavy weight boxer but these days I am living the true American mans dream. I鈥檓 not a man who belongs to a ethnic group who believe the world is there oyster. In fact I鈥檓 just a normal guy in retirement spending my last days with my loved ones, my family. I don鈥檛 deserve every thing I got in fact I am very fortunate. My lives been a long Rollo caster ride been locked up in the nick for something I didn鈥檛 do. Then again I鈥檝e been very extravagant in my life time doing things that an average guy would never do. I鈥檝e pushed my limits so far that now I鈥檓 in a black hole wondering why, how, and where? I did all these things. Now me the toughest, and most hard-headed guy in sports world is fearing for what will be the consequence after every thing I do. The situations you would get passed easily like answering the door, and answering the phone and even receiving mail through the letter box gets me cautious. All this because I did bad things but for the right reason. Whenever I think about them its like by body shivers and I literally fill like I have hypothermia. It has been now 3 years since I retired from boxing and it has been 3 years since all these deep and disturbing devilish secrets have been bond aging in my mind. Now I鈥檓 going to reveal the truth to all my fans and all them reporters of what happened in my eyes. Its so hard to tell you the agonising story of pain, love, and hatred the reporter I told will tell you in my exact words鈥?

The build up 1999
The streets of New York were quiet, nothing was alive and nothing had motion. It was boxing day half seven in the evening most job workers of the big city were sleeping in their homes tired from all the fuss Christmas day had offered them. The mothers were satisfied with the joys which had been blessed on the families in this time of the year. Also the children who thought Santa existed were chuffed with there top of the range clothes and gifts which had been given to them on Christmas morning, however the family men were still recovering from all the debts that they owed to the manipulating bills and presents they could not afford. To make things worse they were also recovering from the hangovers which had been given to them from the brothers in laws and their obsession always to drink vodka on every celebration. It was a time of year they hated and despised however were hiding it to keep the children happy and keep safe from the desperate wifes bellowing down their ears. They were now looking forward to nothing except a financial disaster for the new year on the other hand they were still praying for one thing. That the conference in the morning for the big boxing fight between the 2 black American fighters Lewis Carters and James Husky went well and the fight was to go forward.

I kinda liked the begining of the story, even though the begining is more for a movie than for a book, but it could be a nice change. continue a little bit and ask again. I personnaly liked it and I would continue it
PS: it would be better if you exchange the hi in the beginning with something else that would be a better introduction to the main character, like putting his psychological state in the beginning, like " observed and threatened. a feeling that was so usual in my life, that always used to make me go further toward my goals, is what's keeping me now away from life and its motions" or something like it, I don't know, I'm not the expert here.

Your spelling and punctuation are horrible, and it your first sentence does absolutely nothing to draw me into the character and the story. I just cannot imagine a retired boxer beginning a conversation that way. It is just too casual. I don't think you have done much in the way of character studies for this guy. No, I wouldn't read more. I am just not drawn into it. You need a lot more character study to flesh out your characters and work on punctuation and grammar. I have worked as a ghostwriter for a professional boxer and believe me - he doesn't talk like this. Pax-C