An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an
> individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of
> resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an
> American, a Russian, an Australian, and a Mexican.
>
> He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their
> answers would determine who among them would get the job. The day came
> and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer
> asked, "What is the fastest thing you know?"
>
> Steve, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It comes without any
> warning; it just pops into your head. A thought is the fastest thing
> that I know.." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer.
>
> "And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir , the Russian. "Hmm.... let me
see.
> A blink! It comes and goes without you knowing that it ever happens. A
> BLINK is the fastest thing I know."
> "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very
> popular cliche for speed."
>
> He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his
> reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on
> the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, the light
> in the barn comes on way out across the pasture. Yep, TURNING ON A
> LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very
> impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man.
> "It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said.
>
> Turning to Eleuterio, the Mexican, the fourth and final man, the
> interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, "Puess apter
> herring da tree preebious ansers sir, et's obeus to me dat the fastest
> ting is diarrhea."
> translation: "well after hearing the three previous answers sir, it's
> obvious to me the fastest thing is diarrhea"
>
> "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others
> were giggling in their seats...
>
> "Oh, I can espleyn sir," said Eleuterio. "You see, sir, da ader day my
> istumach was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the bathroom, but
> bepore I could TINK, BLINK, or TURN ON DE LIGHT, sir, I had alreydi
> shet in my pants!"
>
> Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart. lmao good one
a guy goes into a bar and sits beside a big lady.he says to her boy u have a big a$$...she goes...why you.....and starts smacking him around.he goes in the mens room...fixes him self up....combs/fixes his hair.....straightens out his glasses...puts his teeth back in etc. He goes back and sits beside the same lady.He says to her....boy u got small boobs.....she says do i really...hes says yeah and i know how u can make em biger.She says how. He says you go into the ladies room,take your bra and shirt off....take a whole bunch of toilet paper and keep wiping and rubbing between your boobs...she says omg...do u think thatll really work for me/ He says why wouldnt it...it worked on your big a$$ didnt it.....
so theres this doctor that did circumcisions.After many years he decides its time to retire.All the circumsicions he did over the years,he saved the foreskins.He took the big garbag full of foreskins to his friend who works at a leather company.He says"Make me something nice out of these foreskins,cuz im retiring." His friend says"Come back in 2 weeks and ill have something nice for you."So he goes in 2 weeks to see what his friend made him.When he shows up 2 weeks later,his friend presents him with 5 nice wallets. He says to his friend"wallets!? Is that all i get after all these years!?" His friend says"Relax my friend.You see its not just ordinary wallets. After to rub them for a while,it becomes a 5 piece luggage set."
The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative.He seems to be doing ok now..... I guess." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy?? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not?? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!....." lol...funny I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE THE MEXICAN WHO WAS GOING TO BE THE BUTT OF THE JOKE. MESSED UP BUT HILARIOUS. hahaha
lol
that was funny!!!!
great have a star!!! |
