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Im a writer and am writing a new novel here is some of the 1st chapter tell me any comment plz( no punctuation


By now it was eight o clock, paparazzi were outside the queens park palace waiting for Lewis Carters to arrive at the conference. He would often do this to build suspense in the atmosphere and get all the people from his home town, Brooklyn, to cheer him on when he got there. James Husky was already in the building., he was Lewis Carters opponent and is the heavy weight champion. He has been fighting professional for 25 years and has been undefeated since he had the belt- he has had eight fights since he had had won the title and has either knocked his opponents out within the first two rounds or they have got so hurt in the fight from his deadly combinations of punches that the coaches and trainers have thrown in the towel. It was going to be the best fight since Muhammad Ali and Joe Frasier fought it out in the famous fight known commonly as the gorilla in manila. Husky was a fairly tall man with a muscular build, he had a very quick reacting mind in the ring, he was a powerful puncher and the unordinary thing about him is that he can fight either orthodox or southpaw stance in the ring. He was given the nickname James the power man Husky after knocking Fredson juniour out in the 2nd round with a lethal uppercut which knocked one of fredsons moulders out of his mouth blood was all over the ring and it was classed to be one of the most memorable fights in history. What made it unordinary was this was when he was in the cruiser weight and the power of the punch was the equivalent of Geroge Foremans awesome hooks.. James always stay focused on the aim of the fight which is to win and that integrity and spirit has won him most of his fights. A characteristic which made him stand outside the ring was that he was very crotchety this was also the case after his fights and in public. Whenever he was victorious over one of his fights he would always end up yelling at a bewildered reporter who he would end up either pushing onto the floor. Even though he was like this, it was what made him entertaining to watch and he is known to have one of the most amazing attitudes to live. In the conference room Husky was wearing an black swage suit with a black striped **** and blue aqua coloured tie, he was sitting in there patiently waiting for the conference to progress.
While James Husky was inside sitting on lined table on the right side of the room sipping his glass of squeezed lemon, loud chaotic noises were coming from outside. Husky got out of his Brown leather chair and looked outside the window and developed a tormenting smile. Outside was a large Grey gold plated 550 Ferrari Maranello, it was being blocked by a crowd and the car was unable to move forward so it pulled to the side of the curve and stopped. The passengers door was opened and Bobby Norton approached onto the road. Bobby Norton was Lewis Carters promoter and had been his promoter for years. He was experienced at what he did and was also a promoter of other great fighters like Ben Gills Olympic silver medallist in welter weight and also Benvollio Dulcet heavy weight champion from 1997 to 1998 however he was less popular when he was defeated by 鈥淛ames the power man Husky鈥?in 1998. Norton was a very popular man also known for when he used to be a entrepreneur for many successful training businesses located all over the States and Europe however he gave all his businesses to his oldest son Thomas Norton mainly due to being so busy in his promoting work. On the other hand nobody really cared about his career professions just cared about him being a good looking multi millionaire mainly because of the many privatized companies that he owns. Which could be anything leisure companies, electronics or even a broad way drug racket for a mob living in little Italy but who knows nobody really tried to get on his bad side in public and in the media, due to the several people who have crossed him in their lives have received extra attention from his body guards which isn鈥檛 a pretty site.

Be more descriptive of people or objects so that the reader can create a visual description in their minds. Use compare and contrast as a method to elicit differences or descriptions to make your characters come alive. Do not be afraid to write out more words but, more words may not always work to your advantage. Using the correct words may stand out in a readers mind and save your keyboard from extra keystrokes. Good luck!

Honestly, it was horrid.

Spelling mistakes galore, no punctuation and virtually unreadable. Going by this example, I would assume this is your first attempt at any type of creative writing and as such, you should get yourself to a proper writing class asap.

Example: 'Husky got out of his Brown leather chair and looked outside the window and developed a tormenting smile.'

WTF? Are you for real?

Fixed up: 'Hearing a commotion outside, Husky stood up and strode to the window. Looking down onto the sidewalk, he caught a glance of his fight opponent entering the building. 'Bastard,' Husky thought to himself with a nasty smile as he ambled back to the brown leather chair, 'Gonna knock that bastard out in one go.'

Sure, my example isn't perfect but by God, you gotta do better than what you just produced if you gota any hopes of publishing.

hhmm couldn't read it all, but from what i did you could use much more detail. Didn't really appeal to my senses. Use more adjectives.

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