cud i publish this wah u think
The build up 1999
The streets of New York were quiet, nothing was alive and nothing had motion. The streets of New York was considered to be the city that never sleeps, it was boxing day half seven in the evening most job workers of the big city were sleeping in their homes tired from all the fuss Christmas day had offered them. The large black bins on streets were full of disposable Christmas decorations, empty bottles of rich red wine and large bottles of vodka. The mothers were satisfied with the joys which had been blessed on the families in this time of the year. Also the children who thought Santa existed were chuffed with there top of the range clothes and gifts which had been given to them on Christmas morning, however the family men were still recovering from all the debts that they owed to the manipulating bills and presents they could not afford. To make things worse they were also recovering from the hangovers which had been given to them from the brothers in laws and their obsession always to drink vodka on every celebration. It was a time of year they hated and despised however were hiding it to keep the children happy and keep safe from the desperate wifes bellowing down their ears. They were now looking forward to nothing except a financial disaster for the new year on the other hand they were still praying for one thing. That the conference in the morning for the big boxing fight between Lewis Carters and James Husky went well and the fight was to go forward.
By now it was eight o clock, paparazzi were outside the queens park palace waiting for Lewis Carters to arrive at the conference. He would often do this to build suspense in the atmosphere and get all the people from his home town, Louisville Kentucky, to cheer him on when he go there. James Husky was already in the building., he was Lewis Carters opponent and is the heavy weight champion. He has been fighting professional for 25 years and has been undefeated since he had the belt- he has had eight fights since he had had won the title and has either knocked his opponents out within the first two rounds or they have got so hurt in the fight from his deadly combinations of punches that the coaches and trainers have thrown in the towel. It was going to be the best fight since Muhammad Ali and Joe Frasier fought it out in the famous fight known commonly as the gorilla in manila.
While James Husky was inside sitting on lined table on the right side of the room sipping on his glass of squeezed lemon, loud chaotic noises were coming from outside. Husky got out of his Brown leather chair and looked outside the window and developed a tormenting smile. Outside was a large Grey gold plated 550 Ferrari Maranello, it was being blocked by a crowd and the car was unable to move forward so it pulled to the side of the curve and stopped. The passengers door was opened and Bobby Norton approached onto the road. Bobby Norton was Lewis Carters promoter and had been his promoter for years. He was experienced at what he did and was also a promoter of other great fighters like Ben Gills Olympic silver medallist in welter weight and also Benvollio Dulcet heavy weight champion from 1997 to 1998 however he was less popular when he was defeated by 鈥淛ames the power man Husky鈥?in 1998. Norton was a very popular man also known for when he used to be a entrepreneur for many successful training businesses located all over the States and Europe however he gave all his businesses to his oldest son Thomas Norton mainly due to being so busy in his promoting work. On the other hand nobody really cared about his career professions just cared about him being a good looking multi millionaire. Criticism is sometimes hard to listen to but can turn out to be great in the long run. I hope you get quite a few opinions to help guide you. Here are my two cents:
You have lots of sentences beginning with "The," and I was lost before I finished reading the second sentence...ended up skimming the rest. I believe I understand the ideas you're trying to express, but the selection would benefit from some rewording and syntactic variety. You have a nice start, keep writing and editing. Best of luck! I like it!!! love to read on!! :D sounds good you did use quite a bit of info tho |
