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Terrible behavior for my 5 year old? |
I had a conference with my 5 year olds kindergarten teacher today, she said she was worried about him if I let him move into the first grade. She said he doesn't listen, he rushes through his school work, he disrupts the other children, and stuff like that. He's not like that at home, but he has told me that "he's the funny kid, he doesn't need to learn." I don't want to hold him back in kindergarten again, so I planned on him going to summer school. Do any of you have advise for children like this? When he doesn't listen he does get disciplined ( as in going to his room, cleaning his room, and I do believe in spanking). None of it works. He knows his how to do his school work, he just doesn't. I planned on getting him tested for ADHD also. I have taken toys away, things he enjoys, not being able to play with his friends. Nothing works, thats why I had resorted to cleaning his room. Your son is choosing to be the "funny kid" at school in an effort to solicit attention. Sometime negative attention is better than no attention. It is difficult to stop inappropriate behavior in school from the home after it has already happened. Your son needs a behavior modification plan set up for him. Meet with his teacher and the principal too. Figure out what behaviors need changing and give him plenty of alternatives that ARE acceptable. Also, consider his learning style. Kids learn best when they can jump, sing, move and yes, be noisy. Your son may need a different kind of stimulation (and motivation) to learn. His teacher needs to think of ways to get his attention in a positive way. Your son needs to have appropriate consequences for his behavior. In other words, make sure the consequence fits (ie. don't give time outs for writing on a desk....give him a sponge and some water). What has worked very well for me in the past has been to play down the negative behavior and encourage/praise the positive. Find ways to help your son be successful in school. He is lacking confidence in his own abilities. His self-esteem is in his boots. Focus on the positives!!!!!!! Reward success with lots of hugs, high fives, special suppers & (small) prizes. This needs to be a concerted effort on everyone's part. Also, don't sweat the small stuff. Is it necessary to time-out a child for one small indiscretion when they have had an amazing day? Self-esteem is hard to build but so easy to destroy. We so quickly test for ADHD (not saying you shouldn't) when we just need to look a little deeper. Your child is crying out for help. Guide him. He may just need the time to grow up. It happens. Sounds like you have him under control at home and are using punishmenst correctly. Don't beat youself up over this either. I think you don't need to put him in Kinder again. I had that problem before with my daughter she is 8 now and still being a little like that. My suggestion its to talk to him like an adult. I believe in spanking but it work better not allowing him to do whats he likes like watching favorite show and stuff like that. And if he do something good also award him so he can play the game. Talk to him seriously, tell him that you are concern and wants him to be better in school that he can play in recess but in the class room need to take it serious that his future depends of it and that being bad in school made you sad he loves you and he doesn't want to cause stress to you. The key word is talking about the problem and that he has the control to solve it. |
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