Is it Time To Update Your Dictionary?

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

2. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

3. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

4. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

5. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

6. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

7. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

8. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

9. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

10. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

11. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

12. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

13. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

14. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

15. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that You actually look forward to the trip.

16. Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

17. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."

18. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

19. Father : A banker provided by nature.

20. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

21. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

22. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

23. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Yahoo remove this same question a short while ago, because I didn't ask a proper question.

I rephrased the question and reposted it. Hope it stays posted for more than 4 hours, this time.

*dew!! thx..:)

Clever...

how about this, extroverted pecimists are frequently closet optimists and extroverted optimists are frequently closet pecimists?

Some are pretty good.

Good one

24. Marriage: Free accomodation.

love the meaning of criminal. Just so you know, I'm not stucking you or anything. I just love your jokes and wanted you to know that you truly have a fan out there.

I agree, mostly. LOL.

food for thought

haha the classic is so true lol 鈾?/div>

• 1 year ago