1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divo rce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......! ~*Lol....funny!*~ lol kewl!! Bwa hahahaha! hahah..here;s one for you
A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave
each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come
up with the rest.
*As you shall make your bed so shall you......mess it up
*Better be safe than............................. a 5th grader
*Strike while the ............................bu... is close
*It's always darkest before...................dayli... savings time
*You can lead a horse to water but............how?
*Don't bite the hand that.....................looks dirty
*A miss is as good as a.......................Mr.
*You can't teach an old dog new...............math
*If you lie down with the dogs, you'll........stink in the morning
*The pen is mightier than the.................pigs
*An idle mind is............................... best way to relax
*Where there's smoke, there's.................pollut...
*Happy the bride who..........................g... all the presents
Additional Details
*A penny saved is............................... much
*Two's company, three's.......................... musketeers
*Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry
and.............................. have to blow your nose
*Children should be seen and not..............spanked or grounded
*When the blind leadeth the blind.............get out of the way
CHeeRioS FUNNY i like that Thats good, but how long did it take 4 you 2 write all that - isn't that more than 1000 words? wow...really nice....lol....liked it alot, here's a star , u deserve it..!!!
thanx 4 sharing. Awesome!!! |
