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How would you improve the monologue of this video skit? |
This is a short school project. "Hey, welcome to your new office. We really need your help. We need to train some of our employees and classroom training just doesn鈥檛 work. The employees find the endless power-point slides boring and besides, we have a difficult time working around everyone鈥檚 schedules. We are switching to computer-based interactive training and we requested some info from a company called Group 1. They sent us a brochure and some white papers. I think they sent us an e-mail too. And don鈥檛 hesitate to call them. When you鈥檙e finished, come meet us in the conference room, and give us a summary of what you鈥檝e learned. Alright, see you later." Ok, you lost me at 'hello', no just kidding. It loses focus. You should come up with a wacky way to train the employees like you've hired this group of aliens over here to....I don't know something no one will suspect and has more action in it. Also you don't need need the sentences 2, 3, 4...why explain what you're not going to do anymore? You need to decide who your audience is and these sentences would describe the obvious if someone has already been hired. Get to the action, that's what makes a monologue interesting. I like it! It sounds good to me! I wouldn't change it at all. It was clear, and I understood it! its a bit boring. |
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