My friend's sister thinks of me as a hero and is getting a little obsessive, how should I handle this?

She's 15 or 16 and I'm 22. Now about 2 years back her brother (also one of my best friends), herself, and I got into a car accident. I was the least injured and wasn't really worried by it once I got my head back. (I'd been an EMT for about 6 months and have been in a couple of bad car accidents before, though I was never the driver) When it happened, I kicked out the wind shield and helped both her and her brother out the car but I couldn't help the other driver who was dead on the scene. So I just really took care of her until the ambulance could arrive. She didn't have anything life threatening just a little banged up from the crash and a decent gash on her arm (her brother was fine as well). She was more shaken up than anything else. I gave her my phone number in case she wanted to talk about the crash or anything just because I have a friendly face and have been told I am very good listener. Over time we became friends and I didn't think much of it since I have plenty of female friends who I don't expect to become anymore than that.

Though about a month ago she said she really liked me and wanted to become more than just friends. I refused and plead my case about the age difference, so I let her down easy. Now all of a sudden in the last couple of weeks. she is calling me again and is really becoming a bit obsessive about me. Sending letters, calling, texting, ect. and I have been trying to be nice about it by refusing and trying to explain why it but she is unfazed by it. Even when I was being stern about it she still would not realize that I am not interested.

So is there a way to get her to move on without totally crushing her or am I going to have to be pretty harsh about this?

Thanks.

Thanks for the comments so far everyone, definately gave me some real answers on this on. Just thought I should get to a few Qs I see in the answers.

alisocute:

The driver of the or car was her brother and he surprisingly came out unscathed. Just some minor cuts and a hell of a bruise where the seat belt held him in. The driver of the other car I was told later was drunk and was dead on the scene.

bigdreama

I'll admit she is a very cute girl the only problem is that I've know my friend for so long I've kind of seen her grown up and don't have any feelings for her. Who knows like you said maybe it's the whole thing about how old she is now and something may happen in the future. Though only time will tell. lol

Again like many of you mentioned, hopefully this thing will pass.

Firstly, I commend you for your actions during the accident because it was really respectable of you to do everything you did. Well, she's young, girls can get pretty clingy at that age. No matter how you go about this it's going to "crush" her, but she'll bounce back. She's just a little naive right now. Sounds like if you have been calm and rationally explained to her that you are not interested, she is just not going to get it. You might have to be pretty harsh or just tell her you're interested in or seeing another girl. She'll move on once she finds a guy around her own age.

Tell on her. Her family needs to put her into counseling.

hit it and quit it?

its emotional

she cant let you go


girls like guys that can save them.
even though she wasnt that hurt, she was emotionally
and you helped her heal emotionally.


just let her know that she should just be your friend
and that if she cant do that without obsessing over you

your gonna have to tell her you cant talk to her any more.


hope i helped.

what you are describing is from what I've heard quite a common situation for many doctors and other health care professionals that have been in similar situations, what she is experiencing is a psychological effect of the trauma of the crash and the fact that you were so attentive to her and her brother has probably contributed. I'd suggest getting more information on the subject unfortunately i'm not in the psychology profession so I'm not sure of sources but I do recommend that she probably should seek therapy regarding the crash working through the issues will make her gain perspective on what happened and how she feels. but at the same time this might just be a teenage crush and besides what you did even though you may not think so, makes you a hero!

hey!

i love your question...very interesting :D

she seems to have a major crush on you like any girl would (especially at a younger age) on their hero's. hehe i think it's cute...but it goes beyond cute and more annoying when it turns to a situation you don't want it turn out like. i say the only way she is going to stop is if you tell her straight that you two are only friends and that's the way it's always going to be...it is the fact right? she'll understand, trust me! a girl would rather have the truth said to her, than a lie or being led on- when they are being rejected cos there's nothing more that ***** them off when they realise the truth (i've been in this situation) and it turns out naaasty, she won't want to meet eyes with you again and prob have a permanent grudge against you! :O you say that you have alot of girl mates....in some cases that's not always true, some girls are friends with a guy because they secretly like you, hence the situation that you're in right now! so you guys are 7 or 6 years apart? you know in time...that won't matter anymore hahaha maybe when you're 32 and she's a hot 25 or 24 year old...you might kick yourself later about this rejection.........hey, you never know! you even saved her life kinda lol! so take a long think about it....she's even one of your bestfriends sister's which is a great coincidence....maybe months from now, you'll be crazy in love with her laughing in convo over some date at a pizza place. just go with your gut feeling about this...could be an opportunity that you have no idea where it will take you! do you think she's hot?? lol

Was the driver not really related to them? Its probably just a little crush she has on you, I wouldnt be to freaked out. My friend from school liked out teacher so we sent him love letters for fun and we laughed about it. I dont think she REALLY liked him but would seem a bit obsessive we could tell it freaked him out a little bit. one day he told us he got engaged and we both stood up and demeted we meet her beause we hadnt aproved her yet! >:( it was all in good fun though. I also find that girls (any that i know and myself) always get crushes on 'bother/sisters' friends' ect. You've started clearly to her you dont like her in that way. I think in time this crush will pass :) maybe it would help if you keep remindin her that you dont look at her in that way but let her be playfull. She cant expect you to like her if your telling her you dont like her in that way, so dont be to harsh. Im sure she understands NO is no. even if she wants to keep trying to push herself on you.

Good luck! SAVE MORE LIVES ;p no more young girls who will get big crushes on you! You might get a REAL stalker then! hehe.