My boss called, asking me to rape her. How to handle this?

My boss and I have gotten along well with each other so far. The relationship is friendly and professional, but I have been getting the impression over the years that she's wanted more. While she never did anything blatant where anyone could see, she was a mite less subtle when we were alone in her office.
During some discussions, when she was sure nobody could see, her 'poker face' would slip. With a look, tone of voice, careless word, or subtle hint of body language, she'd indicate that she was interested. Now and then, especially during private video calls, she'd *really* let slip and for just a moment give me an almost desperate look of vulnerability. Those looks became more frequent, more submissive, and the calls less... professional.
Last night, I got a particularly disturbing call. She seemed nervous and a little giddy at the same time, the way a shy schoolgirl might be if she was asking the popular boy out for a date. (No, I'm bragging, it's just the closest analogy I could come up with.) After visibly screwing up her courage, she asked me to come over and rape her. Something tells me she didn't just mean a night of rough sex, either. O_o

I've tried to keep her at arm's length, but after all she *is* my boss, and I really cannot afford to go looking for work right now.

Just the thought of doing what she asks makes me break out in a cold sweat! Apologies in advance if the structure of this question is a little erratic. Nerves are a little tight.

Anyway... any suggestions would help.

[ Sorry if this is in the wrong section. It's what Y!A suggested. ]

And no, this isn't joke. I'm really screwed here...

Do you have any record of the call, any kind of proof it took place? Do you have those video calls saved? This woman is a lawsuit waiting to happen and you should probably speak with an attorney.

Write up your story in a factual, clear way, using times and dates. Keep copies of your written record of what she's done.

Do NOT have sex with her. She sounds unstable and her demands are likely to escalate even more than they already have. She could make an incredible amount of trouble for you--like, accuse you of rape, whether or not you do anything at all. That's why I think you need to get this out of the realm of merely your word against hers and go "public" with it; make sure someone else knows. Actually, if you have coworkers who would corroborate your story that would help. Maybe she's done this to other guys.

But this situation sounds so volatile I really think you need to see a lawyer.

Funny thing is, now it's starting to give me ideas. Time to talk this over with my partner... Report Abuse

don't do it unless you want to wake to real criminal charges for rape.

she probably wouldn't file criminal charges if she asked you to do it, but you never know.

she sounds a little crazy and you would be playing with fire if you sleep with your boss. if you think it's awkward now, wait until afterwards. you would have a hard time making eye contact in office meetings.

you need to report her to her supervisor.

Hm, if you do it you will be looking for work as well. what you are talking about is illegal, so you may wish to make sure you are more than arms length from the situation. Legally you can press action against her, and if you go for it, she can press charges against you. Which case sounds more inviting.

Tell her that you don't want to be involved with her, and if she won't leave you alone, file for sexual harassment. Sometimes doing the right thing comes with a price. In the end, don't you want to look back and know that you did the right thing, even if it could possibly cost you your job?

Take Nancy Reagan's advice and just say no. Then keep your distance from her. Write down the times and dates of these slips. Write down the details of the call and exactly what she said. This is sexual harassment. If she retaliates against you for turning her down, make sure to seek legal counsel.

Oh jeez. Not good, man. Dont do it, please dont do it. Just tell her you can't, because in the end she could turn it against you and take you to court and you could go to jail. Thats just messed up and she must be physco. My answer is a definite NO.

Sounds like sexual harassment to me, you could do the following
a) sue her for sexually harassment and win a few k
b) tell her supervisor, let him/her deal with your boss
c) or just tell her you are not attracted to her

Ummmmmm you have issues and so does she. she's trying to make you rape her. but it was her command so she cant have anything against you if she was supposed to report to the police. but us woman have a mind of our own. so i dont know

Seem 2 way connection
1- To take control of her
2- To realy take this realation ship to to the next level .
Now if you are singl go for it , but if you are married it just a trap .

you need to tell her that you don't feel the same way and that you're not doing that. also she could be trying to get you in trouble. she could report you easily.

Whoa!
Don't do it.
Well, just look for a way on how to dump her politely..
uh.. You could just say that you respect her and all that crap..
Women fall for that.. I think.. lol
Good luck to you man.

File a sexual harassment lawsuit against her,

you could make a lot of money!

TELL HER U ARE TAKING TREATMENTS FOR AN STD AND U DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX EVER AGAIN UNTIL MARRIAGE.

Asking to be raped. nah. Maybe playing like it. Talk sense into her. Tell he that both of you can be fired if caught.

jail bait!

well I say go and do her the way she wants it and then say how about a raise woman. or maybe even a promotion

it's not really rape if the "victim" told you to do it...

do what Mr. Goodhi said...seriously.

dont do it, man she is deseased

Whoa. You have a problem on your hands. A relationship with a boss is really not a good idea, but apparently she's gotten the idea that you return her affections. You have two options right now: Talk her and break off any ideas of a romantic relationship - this must be done carefully as she will still be your boss. The second option is to get involved - you've spoken a lot about your concern for your job security, but you have completely avoided mentioning if you have any interest in her. This however might cause problems in the long run. So what you need to figure out is, do you want a relationship or not? This rape business is a little odd - and leads me to beleive that maybe you were goading her on because that is an awfully personal statement to just pull out of nowhere.

Not the wrong section, per se. There are Law & Ethics considerations, certainly. Though I'm not really sure they're what you're going for.

If her conduct isn't welcome, then it's sexual harassment. The best way of responding is by letting her know that it isn't welcome; if it continues, or if she takes some sort of reprisals against you because you've said you're not interested, then there's all sorts of legal recourse available. (Of course, proving everything is often tricky. Keep good records. With the traditional gender roles reversed, it's a bit more of an uphill battle.)

If it *is* welcome, then...well, I generally take the position that sleeping with your boss is a bad idea, but you wouldn't be the first person in the world to do it. Still... It's a legal and logical impossibility to rape somebody at their request - provided the person has capacity, etc. - so strictly speaking, there wouldn't be anything illegal in such a thing...but she sounds a little unstable, and my concern would be that you're opening yourself up to allegations of serious misconduct if you become involved with her.

Tell her you that you love her and that you have a type of genital herpes that you hope medical science will someday be able to control with treatment. That should take care of the problem.

If this story is true, your boss is a complete nut case. Get a new job.

As for the people who are urging you to sue her, what are your damages? So far, you have had one unwanted sexual advance. Yes, you should tell her that any such advances are not welcome by you. Maybe that will take care of it, maybe not. Do you want to stick around until you have some actual damages, i.e., real misery, getting fired, or not getting a promotion? It may depend on what kind of job you have, and how difficult it would be to get another job of equal quality with another employer. Most likely, your best bet is to start looking for another job.

LOL Cheesy romantic comedy, ARE YOU SURE???????????

Sir this is sexual harassment and you need to go to her boss and document it and have a nice discussion like that. She does not have the right to harass you at work. Yes men can be victims of sexual harassment. If she doesn't have a boss then try the Board of Directors if your company is a Corporation and tell them what is going on here.

Well i mean its not like your actually raping her. She's asking you to.

the phrase "she asked me to rape her" is an oxymoron, it contradicts itself. So your doing nothing wrong by having sex with her.

However, if you dont return the affection, you could potentially sue for sexual harassment if you still have the message. And if she fires you you could definitely use the message to sue for wrongful dismissal.


I wouldn't be worried, the message gives you all the cards.


If you DO return the affection, you could have some office fun.

I really dont see the problem here :P

Um, yeah that sounds pretty awesome. So, why are not at her place doing it right now? Go for it! Just make sure you save a recording of her consenting to the act, just in case she decides to bring charges against you some day.

So your ice queen boss shows you her vulnerable side and asks to take advantage her and you don't know what to do? If you don't recognize that as being the ultimate ego trip, then there is seriously something wrong with you.