How do I handle this sad news?

Wewww, I don't even know how to start. My best guy friend who I have known for years came to me with disturbing news. Sad news actually. We used to date on and off, but friends seemed to be what has always worked out for us and he's been the one guy who's been there for everything. I got a call last night with him crying (no one has heard or seen him do so, he's a tough guy) saying it is a big possibility the cancer has came back. He's scared and doesn't want to go to the doctor. His dad is pushing him to go and I finally convinced him to go. I even mentioned I could go with him if it would help. Bad of me, but at first I didn't believe him (from past issues with him), but I could by him crying and say he's scared told me he was telling the truth. Plus when he asked me to go to the doctor with him. He feels really bad for putting this on me being I'm the only friend he can trust coming to with this. I just don't know how to handle this. I'm sad and want to cry, but it won't come out.

I want to be strong for him, but that is hard to do. He's the same age as me 27. That's so young to have to go through this. I just don't know how to keep it together for him.

If he is your best guy friend then you must be there for him as you would a best girl friend, previous dating him or not. If you go with him to the doctor more than likely you will find out if there is a reason not to believe him. Is he hurt at all that you are not dating? That would be the only reason I would think for him to lie to you about this reocurrance. Be strong for him as he will need this from you to be strong himself. Think of him as a brother and not a previous boyfriend. That should help.

Well, you are going to have to be strong for him. You cant ever let him see you cry. Just be there for him and go with him to his doc appointments, and pray that gets better, thats pretty much all you can do. Having your support and knowing that you are there for him will make everything much better for him and you. I'm sorry about the bad news. Good luck!

Just try to be strong. That's all you can do. Help him and be there for him. My friend is 27 as well and has cancer. He is back in the hospital again and will be there for the majority of the summer if not all of it. He is also looking for a bone marrow transplant. Help him as much as you can and be a good friend when he is in need of one.

At times like this, it really is tough. But you really should try to be more optimistic and cheer him on. Cancer isn't that hopeless since today's technology has a higher chance of curing it if discovered and treated early. You should go with him to see a doctor and recommend that he takes treaetment as soon as possible.

You don't have to cry when you feel sad. You're being there for him is great. If it is true about his cancer it will help him to have someone close to him there. But be prepared - cancer treatment can go on for years and be very grueling on someone who isn't sick. Also, one of you could end up falling for the other and the feelings may not be reciprocated. Step carefully but being a good friend is awesome!

If you sincerely want to help, then be there for him and take him to the doctor. Honestly, you have to step back a little because he is so emotionally involved.

The sooner he knows more facts, the sooner he can deal with those facts.

I have gone through enough cancer, MS, etc to know that you are empowered when you tackle the problem rather than buckle under the unknown.


Good luck. I'm really sorry to hear this.

Since nothing is for sure about the cancer yet, and because his credibility in the past hasnt been sterling, just try and think rationally beyond the fact he was crying. Just detach from the emotional bit and do what has to be done as far as going through the motions of the appt etc until you know more

honey every face this but through this be strong , be there for him , he needs you, this might put stress on you but look on the bright side of things he has there for u in many ocasion and i bet he wants you to do the same.you may be feeling pain so just let it all out, you will feel must better when your done.good luck honey!!!!!!! stay strong for him ........

Aww.Goggle 'Macmillan cancer support', it has plently of advice on situations like yours. Make sure your friend does go to the doctor, though, for sure, and good for you being such a great friend. He'll need you, and I'm sure you're strong enough for him, because he has entrusted you with this.

you know this Cancer the paradise illness so he can go to god now and thanks him for all he got in his life.and he will go to the heaven and see better life be strong and shear him up there is one up stairs looking after us

The best thing you can do is be there for him and give him moral support. He obviously trust you, and just be there for him. He really needs somebody right now, and it's obvious you can give him what other can't.

It's rough but you are doing all the right things. Go with him to the doctor and be there for him. The way to be strong, is just to let him talk and be as positive as possible.

I think you are doing the right thing, asking him if he wants u to accompany him to the doctor's. That is really cool. Just tell him you are there for him, that's pretty much all you can do.

well lets you inner emotions out and cry. it is fine to cry. this is bad new but he should go to the doctors and you should be there to confort him every step of the way`

Be strong! I absolutely hope everything turns out good.

Be strong for your friend...You would want someone strong there for you if the rolls were reversed...Fingers crossed all goes well!!!

you just need to be there for him
dont feel pressure to act a certain way about it.
just be yourself and be sure to comfort him

You have to be strong for him, imagine how you would feel if it were you.

it's not sad news until it's confirmed by the doctor. go with him if need be. he could be getting all upset over nothing.

act like its not happening it works for me... it cant be true... it is going to be ok.

Be there the best way u know how! Theres no easy or right answer!!!

i know this is very sad and it's sad because it's unfortunate my dream is to be able to work with cancer patients in there time of need to beat this horrible thing called cancer I'm 23 and i lost my mother to cancer when i was 16 so i know that it's hard to go thru especially if your alone so be the best friend that he can trust don't be afraid but be happy and if anything now is the time to start with the breaking of old habits like for instance if he smokes hes gonna have to stop and the worst is junk food i know it's like a thing like what else have i got to lose but for real he needs to eat healthy to fight back and have a shot at a long life.i hope everything works out o.k..LOL-peace

doesnt matter what happened in the past, its over. at this point in time he is your friend and he needs you.

How would you feel if you were in his vulnerable position and he wanted to bail on you?

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, this is incredibly hard on you aswell. But you have to really try to be as strong as you can for him, try your best not o fall to pieces i wish you the best of luck

Wow. I'm really sorry. I'm a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason." Maybe you need to step in and do what he needs you to do so that you learn from him and the situation.

I had a friend who had recurring cancer. One day I asked, as I always did, "How's today going?" She knew I meant with the cancer and she gave me the answer I needed to hear. She said, "I'm Tammy the person, not Tammy the cancer patient. When I need to talk about the cancer I will, and I'll need you listen. But not everything is about the cancer." She didn't say it meanly, but I knew what she meant. She was still a person who had other things going on in her life other than cancer. She was also a very spiritual person, and once when I asked her why she thought God let this happen, she told me she believed that she was experiencing her sickness in order to teach others how to handle a loved one with cancer, so that when it would happen in our families we would be better prepared to handle it.

She was wise beyond her years, and she was right, too. When my mother-in-law ended up with cancer, I was much better prepared to be there for her.

Here's what I learned: "Be there" for your friend. Don't be afraid to talk about the sickness; don't shy away from it or avoid the topic. On the other hand, don't over-focus on it; don't make it the focus of everything. He'll appreciate your support. Good luck.

Well, just try your best to remain strong. Get your crys out in private...but always make sure you are strong in front of him. Reassure him "everything is going to be ok" and remind him that you are there for him. He's not gone, so dont treat him that way. Nothing is more soothing to a man in need than a woman he's very close to. Just being near him will help dramatically.

Best of luck, and dont lose your faith. TRY TO MAKE HIM LAUGH!!! Laughter is the absolute best medicine!