How can i deal with my boyfriend's lifestyle?

i love him so much.. but he's affiliated with gang members (he's mexican).. all of his cousins bang.. he doesn't claim to bang, but is forced to participate in gang activities with them.. i can't handle it.. i worry too much.. everyone's saying i should leave him, but i don't want to.. i love him and i'm willing to be there with him no matter what.. we've talked about this before.. whenever he has a phone call and there is an emergency, he pretends it's not anything serious, but i know it's because of the drama his homies or cousins are having.. i love him and i don't want to leave him.. i told him i'd try to put up with it, but i'm just going crazy deep down inside.. in the beginning, he said he didn't want to be with me if i couldn't handle his lifestyle because it's hard to change.. it's his culture, his family and their beliefs.. did i make the wrong decision to be with him? i'm stuck in a hole!

Alejandra, i'm so sorry.. i didn't mean to make it sound like all mexicans are gang bangers and stuff.. please accept my apology..

Listen to your gut.

How do you feel with your boyfriend's lifestyle?

If you have any doubt in it, follow your conscience. Being with someone who belongs to a gang, a rebellious one at that, is no safe haven for someone who has their act pulled together.

Oh man, dude, I'm so sorry. That definitely sounds rough.

If he really can't/won't get out of that lifestyle, and you're scared for his or your safety, then I'm afraid separating probably would be best in the long-run. Chances are he won't suddenly change nor or you likely to suddenly get comfortable with it.

On the other hand you never know and I really hope you guys can work it out somehow.

Good luck,
Magicgayboy

um... id talk to him. if he REALLY loved u hed understand. that life is not a good one, and if u see someone walk off the edge of a cliff, would u follo in their footsteps? lots of people get shot 4 stupid reasons in gangs, and u dont want him to get hurt because u luv him. so tell him so.

He told you at the beginning that if you were not able to handle his lifestyle, then it would not make any sense in being together. He warned you so there isn't really much to say after that.

I take offense, it is not a part of the Mexican culture to be in gangs and bang. Other than that, hes not going to change so you either accept it or move on.

LEAVE THAT MEXICAN DUDE THINK ABOUT WHAT ISGOING TO HAPPEN TOTHE FUTURE YOUR KIDS AREGOING TO BE ALL WEIRD AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE MOVING EVERY WEEKTO DIFF PLACES THINKK ABIOUT IT

Hes not going to change for you.. ONLY himself

LOVE CONQUERS ALL

um i'm confused, since when has there been gay gang members???

If it were me.....I would think about the future or perhaps lack of, no offence to anyone here but being in a gang can effect the partners life and start a nasty cycle for the future children in the relationship. I know it will be hard and when hes homes he is probably a fantastic guy otherwise you would not have been attracted to him in the first place but i think you should leave, its not the life you want to live but its his life and hes probably happy where he is. Find a guy your suited too and wish your current guy well and explain you just cant do it anymore, he should understand, good luck

I live in New Mexico - this is a familiar opera played out daily here. I live in the south valley barrio.

You will never take him from his family and it's cruel to try. If they are wrapped in gangs and you want the gang part out - you have to get it out of the whole family.

If you move, you stand a slim chance of changing all that - I mean move to Alaska or something. Far far away.

Or you live with the world every woman in my neighborhood does. If... "i love him and i'm willing to be there with him no matter what...." Then this is part of "no matter what."

I feel for what you're going through. It's scary and dangerous sometimes.

I wish you luck and give you a big hug bro...

Sooner or later, somehow or other YOU are going to be involved in his/their ILLEGAL activities...even unknowingly...RUN, DON'T WALK TO THE NEAREST EXIT AND DON'T LOOK BACK...it could well mean your life and/or the lives of your family members, friends and/or acquaintances... You MUST realize you've made a "horrible" mistake and could result in unimaginable circumstances for you...and...it could all very well be a setup...RUN...DON'T LOOK BACK...and be thankful you got out...and, it wouldn't hurt to tell the police what you know...you may even be eligible for a witness protection program...