For those of you who have not participated in or have been on the receiving
end of motivational speakers from the military, I present the linquistic
skills of a "one each Marine Gunnery Sergeant" of considerable fame, who
incidentally has walked the walk.
Lee Ermey For the few of you, who missed him, R. Lee Ermey is the host of
The History Channel's "Mail Call" and played the Drill Instructor in the
movie, "Full Metal Jacket." He is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant and a
very plain speaker, as you will soon read.
So,for your entertainment, here is Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee
Ermey at his first press conference. The main topic of discussion is the
Marine in Iraq who shot the Iraq insurgent to death.
We pick up as the reporter asks about how this potential war crime will
affect our image in the world:
Ermey: "WHAT KIND OF A PANSY-ASSED QUESTION IS THAT?"
Reporter 1: "Well I think...."
Ermey: "THINK, FANCY BOY?! GET THIS THROUGH THAT SEPTIC TANK ON TOP OF YOUR
SHOULDERS, MORON: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK, DO YOU UNDERSTAND
ME??? THAT MARINE SHOT AN ENEMY COMBATANT, SHITHEAD; SO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF
YOUR *** AND DEAL WITH IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU MY OWN PERSONAL PIN CUSHION!!!
NEXT QUESTION: YOU IN THE BLUE SUIT."
Reporter 2: Don't you think that the world's opinion of our operations is
important?
Ermey: "OH SURE! YOU DON'T KNOW THE TIMES I HAVE CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP
WORRYING ABOUT WHAT SOME GODDAMNED FRENCH PANSY THINKS! OH THE DAYS I HAVE
HAD TO WEEP BECAUSE SOME **** EATING TERRORIST SCUMBAG MIGHT BE MAD AT US,
BECAUSE WE WENT INTO WHATEVER GOD FOR- SAKEN HOLE IN THE **** THAT HE LIVES
IN AND KILLED HIM. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DUMBASS QUESTION IS THAT YOU
PETER-PUFFING JACKASS?? WE ARE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND WHEN YOU
ATTACK US, WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BLOW YOUR STINKING
CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE WILL BE ABLE TO BURY YOUR
SORRY *** IN A THIMBLE!! YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. YOU ARE
PROBABLY AFRAID, THINKING THAT I HAVE SUCH AN "EXTREME" ATTITUDE AND THAT I
NEED TO BE MORE "SENSITIVE" TO OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. WELL LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING YOU POLE-SMOKING PANSY! I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY
ELSE THINKS! THIS IS A DAMN WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT, THEN YOU
SHOULD GO HOME AND SUCK ON MAMMA'S TIT!! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU RUNT?? NOW GET
THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I GO CRAZY AND BEAT THE LIVING **** OUT
OF YOU!!! NEXT QUESTION: YOU WITH THE UGLY-ASSED TIE. LOOK AT THAT THING! IT
IS HIDEOUS!"
Reporter 3: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by.."
Ermey: "FREEDOM?? WHAT IN BLUE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FREEDOM? I HAVE
SWEATED MY *** OFF IN JUNGLES, WHILE BEING SHOT AT FOR THIS NATION!! WHAT IN
THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE ****-SUCKING WEASEL? WHEN WAS THE LAST
TIME YOU PUT YOUR *** ON THE LINE FOR ANYTHING? AND YET YOU HAVE THE
UNMITIGATED TEMERITY TO SHOW UP HERE AND MONDAY-MORNING QUARTERBACK THE
ACTIONS OF A BRAVE MARINE, WHO WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF AND HIS UNIT FROM AN
ATTACK BY SOME MURDEROUS AL- QUEDA SYMPATHIZER!!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I AM
CONCERNED ABOUT, NUMB- NUTS? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT A BUNCH OF GRABASSTIC,
ORGANIZED MORONS WITH CAMERAS AND MICROPHONES DOING THEIR BEST TO PORTRAY
OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN AS WAR CRIMINALS! I AM CONCERNED ABOUT CHICKEN-****
PANSIES THAT WANT US TO NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS AND WHINE ABOUT THEIR
PISS-ANT "FREEDOMS"!!"
Reporter 3: "I ..."
Ermey: "DID YOU HAVE A BIG BOWL OF STUPID FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING,
NUMBNUTS? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE CRY HOLE IN
THAT ****-PILE YOU CALL A HEAD! AND THAT GOES TRIPLE FOR THE REST OF YOU
PANSY-ASSED MORONS! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I SHOVE MY
BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR *** THAT YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY SHOELACES!!!!"
Marine DI's have a language all their own. God bless them all! You don't have to be a Marine to appreciate R. Lee Ermey and his undeniable ability to take this scourge of American culture called Political Correctness and shove it up some tight liberal @$$. He speaks the truth in the way that it needs to be said. I love the Gunny
Semper fi
1984-2006 USAF Op Force HAHA funny as hell, I wish more people were like him. thats to long to read sorry but it looks like you worked hard on it It's funny, but it never happened. He was medically retired from the Corps after serving 10 years and left as a Staff Sergeant.
Never said he wasn't a Gunny, only that he left as a SSgt. He was a honorary Gunny. He was promoted to Gunnery sergeant after his discharge from active duty for his ongoing and positive portrayal of the Marine Corps in the public arena known as Hollywood. For those civilians who might have caught Mail Call on the history channel you know that we as Marines will never call anyone by a rank they haven't earned.
I wish I was there when the Gunny said that trash to the reporters, too often the very people whose freedoms we protect are quick to label us as the bad guys ( see Berkley,CA). Like my Senior said waaayy back in the day " If you wanna be a hard man, you've gotta do hard things." Senior Drill Instructor Ssgt Bueno whever you are, thanks for everything. |
