Grandma who doesn't respect my rules?

Our household does not eat at fast food restaurants. My 7year old son knows it's because the food is garbage. He recently stayed with his dad and while his dad works, grandma keeps him. Grandma (who is diabetic) also had her other two grandchildren, who are both obese and eat whatever they want. When they announced to my son that they are going to Taco Bell my son told them he is not supposed to eat there. I got a phone call twice this week asking if it was okay to take him to McDonalds or Taco Bell. The first time I said no and they took him behind my back (he soaked the grease off the chicken biscuit with a napkin and ate it). Today I get the Taco Bell call. I have explained to grandma that this is a lifestyle choice. So today I got her to give him a sandwich instead, but then she took him and the other two to Taco Bell and they ate that crap in front of him!
How would you handle this situation? Should I rip her a new one?

G - I guess it would be okay for her to occasionally give him some of her medication too? I will repeat, this is a lifestyle choice, and I feel like if she can't abide by it then he doesn't need to go over there. She is taking part in things that exclude him. He doesn't want to eat McDonalds and he'll tell you. She could take him to a deli or Subway or eat at home and take them out for ice cream, but she doesn't.

My daughter is going thru some of the same crap with her inlaws. I sometimes make mistakes... it's hard to change habits... So do what she does. When the kids go to visit, she sends along groceries and snacks that are approved by her.
It's a shame you can't get grandma on board with what you are doing, but unfortunatly, you will not be able to control all situations when it comes to food, be it grandma, an overnight with friends or a pizza party at school.
The other thing my daughter has done is to get her kids some good enzymes (from the health food store ) to help break down the garbage the other grandma feeds them. The keep a few in a baggie in their bookbag and take one before eating.
Don't complain about the dumb choices being made in front of him. It has nothing to do with love on grandma's part,just ignorance. Good luck!

Obviously she IS a babysitter for your son. You just said so yourself.

You are putting your son in a bubble that he will not learn how to function in the real world. Report It

I agree some of these foods are not good for us.

Beings as the grandmother only takes your son occasionally I don't think too much harm will come to him. It is only once in a while.

I think if you 'forbid' it will make it more tempting. Turn a blind eye. He will only think he is missing out otherwise and then he could rebel against you.

Give a little more rope and you will receive more respect and he will remain honest with you. Of course not every day, that would be horrendous.

No! You do NOT need to disrespect your childs grandparent! And believe me "ripping her a new one" is just that showing disrespect! You need to remember that because YOU choose to live and eat in a certain way, doesn't mean that others do! If you disagree with what she feeds your kid, then keep your son home, so you can monitor what he does and doesn't eat. If you want him to have a chance at having a loving relationship with grams.. then pack him lunches when you take him there, but for the love of God don't be offended about what they choose to ingest in front of him. Afterall, they're only following your rules about what you don't want your child having.

How very disrespectful of you to talk that way.

Do you not realize there are healthy choice to choose from at fast food restaurants? Educate your son so he can actually live in the real world and not a bubble. Isn't Subway fast food?

If your son doest not want to eat that food why would you care if grandma feeds him first then the rest go to Taco Bell? He wouldn't want it anyway, right?

You really need to chill out! I almost died laughing when you suggested they eat at home and then go for ice cream!!! I know how about letting him go with to McDonald's and he can have a triple thick shake! Or get a different babysitter. Let me guess you can't because she is free.

Yes, you should rip her TWO new ones! She's abusing your kid and flouting your reasonable rules. IMHO, she has forfeited any right to the usual respect.

I'd be inclined to tell her that she either follows your rules in a civilized manner or she doesn't see her grandchild outside your presence. Period. And that means no more of that juvenile, "making your kid watch" sort of behavior. That one was intended as a shot across your bow, and you'd better slap her down hard or she'll walk all over you after that.

This sounds like it might be a divorce situation. Let me guess, ex won't stand up to mom? You might want to talk to your lawyer about that one and make sure that the father knows that you are doing so. You might get a change of behavior if you shake him up. If it's not a divorce situation, then you are free to do as you will. In that case, I'd be inclined to pull the kid out of any situation that involved Grandma for a while until Grandma figures out that she's not to trifle with you.

Ummm...I wouldn't "rip her a new one". I mean, yeah it sucks that she took him to McDonalds the first time after you said no, but the second time, she gave him a sandwich like you asked. You're mad that she ate fast food in front of him? I don't think he's getting any unhealthier by watching someone eat fast food. I would loosen up if I were you. She's a grandma and grandma like to spoil their grandkids, even if it it sometimes gets them into trouble with the parents. It's the way of life. My grandma used to let us eat ice cream at midnight. It was awesome. And I'm not some horribly unhealthy, obese adult because of it.

Edit: I don't recall saying she should give him her medication. We're talking Tacos not Crack! Jesus, I feel bad for your son. You do realize that you cannot keep him in a bubble for the rest of his life? What happens when his class takes him to McDonalds on a field trip? Or when his friends parents get it at a slumber party? Are you going to tear them a new one? Yeah...he's probably not going to have many friends. It's okay though, he'll have you. I'm sure you'll be very happy about that when he's 25 and still living at home because you raised a freakin weirdo. And to the guy who suggested talking to a lawyer about it: the lawyer would LAUGH in your face.

NO, you should not rip her a new one. I understand the respect that you want from her about your life choice. However, you need to realize that she is grandma and those are her babies also weather you look at it that way or not and grandparents all the way from the end of time to now and from now on will always say YES were parents say NO. So, its really not that big of a deal so stop aggravating yourself. You know the saying (WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER). It's not like he has that mess all the time.

If this was occasional, like maybe once a month, I'd say the rules are different at Grandma's, and it won't kill him once a month. I give my grandchildren things from time to time that they don't have at home, but Mom is very aware, and it isn't often. I'd say let her do it once a month.

The problem here is the other children. You're asking Grandma to say no to her other grandchildren because you don't want your son to have it. If your son doesn't stay with his Grandma often, I'd be inclined to just have a talk with him and tell him not to overdo it. If he would really rather have the sandwich, maybe they could take his with them, and he could eat that while they eat their fast food.

In a divorce situation you only have so much power. If you go into Court and ask that Grandma not have him because she gives him fast food, they're not going to respond well. So, just try to minimize it the best you can.

RESPONSE: You know, Vivian, you don't really want to resolve this problem in a realistic way, you just want to be RIGHT. Well, you can be so right, you're wrong. Comparing occasional fast food with taking his Grandmother's meds??? Lighten up!