Do some men require the female to do all of the calling and plan making?

I'm so confused. I always hear that men like to do the chasing. I thought that this man must not be interested in me because he leaves all of the calling and plan making up to me. He never pushes the relationship any further than what it is. I assumed - he's just not into me. The problem is that when we do get together, he is very kind and thoughtful. He always brings me little presents and compliments me and my child. We are waiting to have a sexual relationship, so I know he's not just trying to use me. What could be his motive? How do I handle this. I posted this on the M&D instead of singles because we are both middle age. I would like comments from people around the same age. Thanks.

Idiots, male and female, make the other do ALL the calling and plan-making. Smart people share the duties. That is what love is really about. How your boyfriend is acting says a lot about him. What could be his motive? It could be LOTS of things. Laziness, lack of interest, low self-esteem... only he knows. Sit down and talk to him about this and let him know how you feel. You'll know from his reaction how he really feels about you. You can always try couples' counseling, too. In fact, you may well want to do that anyway if you ever plan on having a permanent relationship with him. Good luck!

I have been with my man for almost 2 years he does alot of calling but i am the only one who makes the plans. I would suggest talking to him and saying ok next weekend (or whenever you get together) the plans are in your hands. Ask him to show you what he enjoys and take it from there.. Also don't call as much and see what he says.. Men love the chase as do women but if your chasing him understand he will not chase you! Back off if he is really into you the roles will flip!

Many men don't like to do the planning.

It seems that this man is trying to respect you by waiting on you & going at your pace. He seems to be doing the right thing so far. Let him know to call you and that it would make your day to hear from him. I bet you will get a call tonight.

See what happens when you ask him to make plans this time. He might just be nervous that you wouldn't like his plans. Start by asking him what he would like to do. Asking for his imput shows that you care about what he likes to do. He's sure to open up.

as a man gets older we learn that no mater what he plan or put together that some thing is not going to be the way it should be. so in the interest of self preservation we don't do it.

He sounds kind of lazy to me. He lets you do everything and then just enjoys what you suggest.
It's nice to have input.

He's not sure how far to push and he doesn't want to force you into anything or demand that you two define your relationship.

Also, I have learned (i'm married) to allow my wife to do the planning and strategizing. She'll play the game of "Where do you want to go?" and all of my ideas are rejected. It's not important where we eat, as long as we're together. So, I let her decide what she's in the mood for.

He's being OVERLY considerate and cautious. You need to throw caution to the wind and go after him. Chase HIM down. That might be fun.

Good luck!