What am I supposed to do when my step son threatens to "hurt me bad" or kill me?

My 13 yr old step son blew up last night just because I asked him why he waved underwear in my daughters face. He stood for 30 mins almost in a catotonic state with sweat dripping down his face. When he lungged at me, my husband had to grab him and hold him down. Durring the course of things, he ended up calling me nasty things like: f you b**ch! f**kin d*ck stick, fat b**ch, f**kin idiot b**ch. you name it, he called me it! He also lungged at me several times, tried to kick and hit me several times. He told me he was going to hurt me really bad and that he was going to kill me.
When my husband called his ex and she flew off the handle when he told her what happened to set it off. She critticized him repeatedly. She also told my husband to let him go, even if he ran out the door. (It was 10:30pm.)
This is not the first time this has happened. Im just totally at a loss of what to do now. we have a 1 and a 4 yr old at home plus our 2 11 yr old girls.
thanks, a

I think the only thing you can do is talk to him. You have to be very very very attentive and loving. Take him shopping, buy him some good stuff. talk to him, tell him that you can't replace his mom but you can be his best friend. Try to become his friend. If you don't love the kid, forget it, either he's gonna end up in the street, or you divorced. just try to understand him and be kind to him

He needs to meet with other children in his situation who are relaxed and excepting the fact of living with a step mother, and may be to see a sycharist, and a lot of love from you, his father and his mother. Report It

Back in the good old days daddy would give the son a whooping until he became a good boy. Growing up in China, that's how I was able to lay off screwing around and study and work hard.

Unfortunately, your son will probably call the cops on you and he will be sent to a worse foster home. There might be an alternative in mental counseling but those are usually completely bullshit.

What I would have done is called the police and filed charges against him. I would not take that for one minute. He probably could benefit from therapy. I can only speculate what his problem is, but I think he has been emotionally damaged and needs far more help that a family can provide. He needs to feel the consequences of his actions and that is why i would call the police. This is bad....I am sorry for you. Good Luck.

he is a danger to you and your young children. you your husband and his ex-wife need to have a sit down to figure out the problem. he needs to be sent to councling and send him to his mothers and dont allow him over until his attitude is fixed. if he doesnt get fixed soon who knows what he could be capable of, especially with that temper.

get him into therapy ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!
this child is extremely angry for the fact that you are with dad and not his mom and that eliminating you would make everything perfect in his world. please take heed to my warning. get him help fast!!!!!!!!! if not for you, for the sake of your children.

i am 13, and in my opinion, its because he is not feeling loved. you should try talking to him, and have your husband and his mother talk to him. just make sure he is feeling like he is a part of the family and not like an outsider. if this doesn't work, take him to counseling. whatever you do, do NOT GIVE UP ON HIM.

until his volcanic behavioral problems are resolved he should not be in the house. maybe your husband can visit him at his moms (on a regular basis, mind you) until a professional can be consulted. In a situation like this, someone could get hurt.

he should spend time with his mother. At his age, he is probably just missing his dad with HIS mom and is not used to seeing another woman with his dad. He's going through a stage.

Kids got serious issues, he needs help -or a jail cell - sounds like maybe he should not be allowed over. Hes a real danger to you AND your children!!

He is over angry. Let your husband deal with him. Let him go back to his Mom.

throw his butt out

He is 13....he is a child and you are the adult. He need his *** beat. this is the reason that our young people are getting shot and beat up in school. There is no discipline in the homes. More homes are blended these days and he probably feels like he is not as important as he used to be. There is really nothing you can do because if you do there is going to be trouble between your husbands x and you. This will put problems between you and your husband and your husband and his x and the person that will suffer will be the boy. Have your husband take him on a tour of the jail. That will settle him down a bit. If you have custody of him, I suggest you just leave the x out of it. As far as letting him go out the door.....just call the police and have them come out. Dont threaten to do it....do it. Empty threats are the thing that he will feed on. If you are going to talk the talk, you have to be ready to walk the walk. MAKE him mind you or send him to jail. Have your husband take his belt to him....My parents did it to me and I turned out just fine. If he says that he will call the police if you touch him then tell him to go ahead and call them and tell them that his parents are getting ready to whip him so they need to come out and make sure your doing it right. Come On!!!! play his game. He has you wrapped around his finger. Your smarter than a kid......Have your husband put him on the ground and hold him down till he settles down. If you dont stop this, he will end up in prison or dead. Its up to you!

Seriously, I think the only thing you can do is call the police and have them get involved. He will most likely (if your area is anything like here, not sure where you live) be admitted to the psyc unit at the hospital for evaluation. He's a teen where his hormones are likely changing which often messes them up. He could be bi-polar or any of a number of other things wrong. They will assess him and see what course of action to take from that point on. This has happened to a few young guys that I know and it was a turning point for them. He definitely can not continue on this path ... especially with young ones around.

Two things you HAVE to do to him. Spank the crap out of him, big time. And two, have him spend the weekend in jail (no joke, totally serious). That should calm him down. Don't believe me, how many times do you hear about young celebrities breaking down and crying (Paris Hilton, Hulk Hogan's son) after just a few hours in prison. Your step son is no different. And it's not just you he may hurt. He could hurt someone else, too. In all seriousness, consider this.