My boyfriend has a terrible temper and sometimes he gets quite rude towards me. What can i do?

last weekend he told me to "**** off" really harshly. the weekend before he called me a really mean name. when hes calm he says hes sorry and he knows he has a bad temper and he doesnt mean anything he says when hes angry. but i get really upset and always tell him while were fighting "i wont be treated like ****" and he said that if i cant handle his temper its not going to work. i take that like, if i wont handle being treated like **** when hes angry, then I can get lost. i probably over reacted to what he said last weekend because im sure if i got angry id tell him to **** off..
i just dont know whether hes treating me badly or does every guy who gets angry have fights like this? I think i may be overreacting because its not as if hes hitting me or calling mem hurtful names ALOT. he never hits me and only called me a name once... oh god i dont know what to do.

Abuse comes in many forms. One of them is verbal. Your boy friend is abusive when he calls you names and uses language that he knows will hurt you. You do not and should not have to put up with this. When someone cares for another person, that relationship must be based in respect or it is not healthy.

If your boyfriend really cared about you in an adult way, regardless of your ages, he would not treat you this way. I don't care if he is 15 or 55, people who are adults do not take their anger out on those they care about. This "bad temper" is a precurser to physical violence. Do not tolerate this type of treatment. Whether he means to or not, his behavior and words are hurting you or you would not be posting here. You are afraid of him or you would be addressing this with him instead of posting here. He has a severe temper issue and that is not normal.

He is right about one thing, if you can't handle his temper (which means HE sees nothing really wrong with it or he would be telling you he will try and change with your help)this will not work. He is telling you point blank that you need to change not him. Is this the kind of life you want for yourself?

No, real men do not have fights like this. Real men can communicate clearly without telling the person they supposedly care about to ****off or calling names. Language like that is intended to hurt not to communicate or solve things.

Honey, get out of this situation now and give yourself some time to find a man who will treat you how you deserve to be treated.

It sounds like your boyfriend is very immature and does not know how to control or react to his anger. People like this usually evolve into physically hurting others and then smooth it over by saying sorry. Abuse can be physical and verbal and you do not have to take this from anyone. Getting angry does not give anyone the right to start verbally abusing others.

well if i was in your position i would dump him. i mean maybe he has never hit you.....yet. sounds like he is gonna one of those abusive boyfriends that girls actually have to report to the police b/c it gets too out of hand. having bad temper problems is NOT an excuse for saying such thigns to your girlfriend. i have a bad temper too but i never would say something so harsh to people close to me. if he does this one more time, i say dump him before its too late

Just my own experience talking here, but you should probably find a way to break it off. I know that is not what you wanted to hear, but just because he hasn't hit you, does not mean that he never will. I was involved with what I thought to be the sweetest man ever. One night he just flipped and pulled a gun on me. Fortunately, I was able to run for help. Be careful, and stay safe. It's not worth getting hurt over. There are men out there somewhere that truly are wonderful. Please take care of yourself.

break it off before it's too late. abusive husbands are like that. they beat their wives and act meek when saying sorry but they never stop the habit. stats have shown that battered wives tend to make excuses for their husbands' behavior. don't be that kind of woman. u kinda scare me.

I believe that no one has a right to be treated like that I would leave him amd maybe he will release his behaviour was totally out of line.

well girl its not you its him....he needs to get help with his temper and regardless if you love someone you dont talk to them like that....its mental abuse, kick him to the curb!

dump him. u dont deserve to be treated like scum. u can do better.

Please read all these letters and take their advice. This is verbal abuse and it can lead to hitting or more verbal abuse. You've already given him plenty of incentive to stop and he hasn't. No one should have to handle his temper. It's his to fix. I'd leave.

Think about what he's upset about. Did you do something wrong that upset him? Did the tell you about it or did he scream and curse you out? If he is yelling about something that someone else did, that's just as bad.

Please get away. Even if it never gets any worse, do you want to live like that?

My guess based on what you're saying is that he probably has a lot of growing up to do before he's relationship-quality material. You're not going to change anything about him - the harder you try, the more he'll stay the same. He's likely correct when he says that if you can't handle his temeramental outbursts, it's not going to work. I'd listen to him, most abusive types aren't insightful enough to make such a statement. But because he has been insightful enough, I wouldn't necessarily kick him out of my life -completely-. But you don't deserve to be anybody's proverbial punching bag, and should have enough respect for yourself to stop letting yourself be used as one.

Usually this is an early sign of a future husband who would be hitting his wife someday.
He may not hit you now, but he's already emotionally abusing you... you don't think he may be capable of striking you in the future?
He's right, if you can't handle this side of him then perhaps you shouldn't have to deal with it. Think about how he may trerat your kids when you have them.. he will be the same way, and insult you in front of them. He needs some serious therapy for this. No one should be submitted to this kind of abuse..

Read you later.