Lost.............................

I am really in a hard position right now. I have been living with my boyfriend for 5 years now. We have a 2 year old son and a 2 month old daughter. Things have just been bad for a while and nothing is changing. I am so sick of being called names and put down all the time and being told every little thing that I do wrong every day. I want my children to have their dad, but I don't know if I can handle it anymore. I feel like I have been torn down bit by bit and there is just nothing left. I hate the person that I am now. I have tried talking to him and telling him that it hurts to be called names all day long. It worked for about two days and then things went right back to what they were. I just don't know what to do anymore...

I was on birth control both times I got pregnant...

Maybe you should try counseling. There's nothing to lose by trying it. I wouldn't put up with being called names though. Nobody deserves that, and it can't be good for your children to hear him putting you down. If he's making no effort to change, maybe you should try a trial separation. Just don't "stay together for the kids." They'd be better off with separated parents than with ones who are unhappy and fighting all of the time.

Start going to therapy. Your children do not deserve to be subjected to this and neither do you. If he can commit to therapy, you have a shot. But one day, you just won't love him anymore. You can leave and get child support. Does he want to imporve himself as a person or stay stunted and belittle everyone around him, because he will do this to the children too. If not, cut your losses and go.

you are clearly capable of putting up with a lot of sh*t. And now you're at your limit. So do what you have to do and when you start to wonder if its the right decision ask yourself this: Will my daughter expect to be treated like sh*t by her spouse because this is what she has wittnessed me do? Will my son grow up to abuse a woman and expect her to take it because this is the example we have set for him?

Then don't look back.

And don't play the kids between you and their dad. I know you won't do that, but it merits saying. Never disrespect him and for your kids' sake as well as yours, never let him disrespect you.

Leave... be independent and do what's best for you and your children. You might want your children to have their dad, but their relationship can continue after you leave. Sometimes its worse for children to grow up seeing the verbal abuse. You think you are doing a good thing by sticking around but u aren't. Every women deserves to have respect. Stand up for yourself & do what's best for you and your kids.

Goodluck.

if u leave the kids can still have their father. u dont have to live together to be an active part of their lives. is it living the rest of ur life in mental misery? get out so your kids wont see you physically and mentally weakened by this person that is your so-called "love"

Simple............leave!!

You can still let him in your childrens life, but you don't have to accept the way he is doing things to you.

Pack your stuff
Pack your kids
Go to somewhere until you can get on your feet!

If he calls you names and puts you down, chances are he'll do the same to your kids. Is that the kind of father you want for them? And is that the behaviour you want them to learn? That it's ok to disrespect mommy?

show him that youre serios. leave. if he responds to that by wanting you back, tell him not without couples therapy. if he does nothing about you leaving then you gave him what he wanted without him asking for it.

Counseling?

leave! Who needs to feel this way. It's a form of abuse. Truly it is.
Head home or to stay with a friend for a short while if you can.

What are you doing having children if you're not married?
Get a job, get day care for your children and learn how to use contraceptives as well.
Become an independent strong woman and mother someone your children can be proud of, instead of sounding down trodden.
Move along, dump the guy just be sure and get child support and understand that the children must be able to see and have access to their father. NEVER use your children against him even if he is dirt bag to you.

Leave and get on with your life now!

The kids can have their dad, and will probably respect him more if he is living somewhere else and respecting their mother. it sounds like a split is in order....

Do it gradually, and gently for the kids. My parents divorced when I was about 11, but I didn't know until I was 15. They first moved to separate bedrooms because "she had nightmares and woke him up". When he eventually moved out, it was no big deal to us. This worked great for us- of course every family is different. But, it definitely sounds like he is disrespecting you and you are not happy with him. Leave him.

You are a woman, any woman deserves to be treated with respect. Im a young guy ( 23 ) I hope one day i find a woman that will love me. I also know that I will make a woman feel good about herself. You need to tell him off aswell. I understand you love him and are affraid to lose him because of your kids. If he is man enough he wouldnt treat you this way. Maybe you 2 need a serious talk. Tell him off don't be affraid. You should be treated like the princess you are and he should start appreciating you more if not tell him to **** off. I hate to see he treats you this way... Oh I tell you some guys !!! Goodluck, make the right descision !!!

being on this site i realize how many people are going thru almost EXACTLY what i was.......mine 2yrs son/6month son, i feel like a broken record with myself answering questions, but i just left the state with our two boys for the same reasons, we talked about couseling but he wouldnt go, it not us, its them, but they have no one else to blame really so they take their frustrations out on us but only we can only handle it for so long......sometimes we have to be selfish in our lives for the sake of our health, and the welfare of our children......sometimes you really dont know what you have till its gone-i been gone three weeks almost four already, i am sad but i feel free and i'm going to find myself again, what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger!!!! good luck