Is it selfish for me to not want to date anyone who has kids?

I wont date people that have kids. There are two reasons for this. The first is i dont want to have another woman constanly coming around for obvious reasons. The second is to be honest, i want to have my own children with the person i am seeing or am married to. I love kids etc, but i wouldnt want one constantly around unless it was my own. So instead of putting myself in a situation that i would be uncomfortable with, i avoid the whole thing by not dating someone with children. Is this selfish of me? Some people might say this is shallow, but i dont think it is. I am only 24, why should i HAVE to except a situation such as when i am so young & why am i called shallow & selfish for being adult enough to know what i dont want & to know what i couldnt handle? Some people dont want kids at all. Are they selfish & shallow because of the choice they have made?

To SERENA- Who cares if someone has kids? Me & alot of other people. There are countless reasons why someone may have a problem with this. I like kids, i just dont want to date someone who has kids unless they are mine.

Hell no your not selfish or shallow, i think you have good reasons for the way you feel, and i wouldn't let anyone tell you different. a few yrs ago when i was dating, i wouldn't go out with this one guy who was very nice, but he had 2 kids that lived with him, 1st i don't want to deal with the ex, 2nd i don't want to raise any ones kids , i raised my own and that was enough for me , i put in my time and do not want to do it again, EVER, and i don't care if anyone thinks i am selfish or shallow, that's fine with me, and at this point in my life i should be, and as for you, i agree your young you don't need to be dealing with all that and what comes with it. enjoy your life while you still can.

if you don't want to date some one with kids, then don't do it. Let them call you shallow or w/e garbage they're calling you, it's not your problem. I think your reasoning is fine and i don't see a thing wrong with it and if it makes you happy then thats what matters. I don't think what you're saying sounds selfish btw

I was the same way. I'm 30 and it seems that SO many people my age had children when they were young. I felt the same way you do and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. You're a woman who knows what she wants and that's a good thing. =)

Some of the best men already have kids. So you are actually limiting yourself ALOT by avoiding these hansome men. Who cares if they already have kids, you can have kids with him too (if you really love him this wouldn't matter)

I think your reasoning is 100% correct.I think it is hard enough to raise children who are your own,let alone adding the burden of trying to raise one who has a different parent.

no it is not at all. if you are in to someone but you are not into kids then its fair to the both of you for you to be truthfull. i have two kids and i am married but if i were not married and i were dating i would want to know rather or not the person that i like is going to want to be in my kids life. kids are for some people and not for others.do not feel bad because you arn't in to children. i know plenty of my girlfriends that want nothing to do at all with kids.you just need to keep your head up and keep looking and you will find some one just right for you that feels the same way as you do. and if someone tells you thats wrong how you feel well then f*** em what do they know anyways. don't let what others think of you get the best of you:)

Theres nothing wrong with you not wanting to date someone who has children. You shouldnt feel selfish about it. A child is a very big responsibility that isnt going to go away ever, that child will continue to be a part of its fathers life until the day he dies.

Just remember that it is not shallow to know what it is that you want. Is it any more shallow to say that you dont want to marry someone who doesnt speak the same language as you? Not at all, because you have certain needs. Granted that is an extreme example, but it is not off.