My 7 year old son is having a problem with another boy.?

this boy is the same age and plays with my son on his soccer team. the problem is the boy is always challenging my son in everything. he is smaller than my son, but he will make rude comments and say things to my son. my son never backs down from this boy and I feel if you can dish it out you can take it. sometimes they argue or call each other names, but nothing too serious such as actual fighting. recently there was an incident where the boys were saying things to each other when they were playing and the other boys mom came up to me and said your son just called my son an idiot and we don't allow OUR son to talk like that. she said her son will be in trouble, making it seem like we don't discipline our son for the behavior. this little boy will run to her whenever it doesn't go his way and she can be loud and rude at times. i think we should let the boys work out alot of the problems on their own. I just wanted to know how to handle this situation the next time it happens.

soccer dad - has YOUR SON complained to you about this other boy? If yes, step in to protect your son. If no, let the boys work it out.

As for the mother who doesn't allow her son to 'talk like that.' She's HIS parent and can raise him the way she wants. But YOUR SON is not her son and she does not have the right to make the rules for him. .

She cannot CONTROL your son's behavior so she was trying to make you feel like a bad parent. CONTROL is her issue. Her criticism hit a nerve in you, making you feel defensive and question your parenting style. It doesn't matter what you say to her she will continue to try to make you feel bad because SHE cannot control what your son says. Don't argue with her or defend your parenting style.

If she tries that technique with you again, look her in the eye and tell her (without sarcasm) she is a good parent and you appreciate her concern for her son AND THEN WALK AWAY. She will never bother you again.

I would let the coach know what's going on, and ask to keep them as separated as possible. Tell your son not to respond to the boy's challenges, and to come to an adult if it gets too out of hand. That way, you can go back to the mom and let hr know that in fact HER son is causing the trouble, and ask her to either tell him to knock it off or to keep her kid away from yours.

I think you are right that they should be left to settle things on their own as much as possible. If they are not fighting then I would assume parents should intervene as little as possible.

If I were you I would talk to my son to try and find out if, yes or no, he has been calling this other boy names. As much as they should settle their differences on their own, he should know that it's not an acceptable behavior. That said, you might find out that it's not true...

Good luck to you!