How do I deal w/ a mother-in-law who's controlling, nagging, overbearing & calls 75-100 times per month??

Hi everyone!! I married a man who has a very controlling, extremely negative, nagging mother. She calls approximately 100x per month (not exaggerating) to check up on him. I've noticed that since he's been talking to her a lot his behavior has changed. He feels very down about himself and lost all motivation. I recently found out that she nags him a lot about not having a good enough job, gaining so much weight, etc. I have tried to talk to him calmly about this but he insists that his mother is the sweetest most loving mother and she's merely concerned about him. When I first met her the only words that came out of her mouth were complaints about how horrible America was & everything to do with it (she's from Europe). He told me that he's never seen her happier! What the hell happened? What confuses me is how he doesn't see how negative she is! What's the deal? And how in the world do I handle someone so cranky and negative?? Thank you all for your advice.

What's the deal?

It isn't her, hon, it's him.

Every mother is like this toward their sons..... they figure if they wiped his little butt as a child, they still do it when their sons become an adult. This is a common problem, and sons buy into it... they rarely know what is going on.

What your husband has to do is, (sorry to be so blunt) grow some balls, and stop sharing the workings of his marriage with her, his thoughts with her and the rest of it with her.. It is HIS job to tell his mother that her opinion is not welcome... but, see, hon, she wouldn't have one if he weren't blathering away like he did when he was 9 !!!!

So, sweetie, the problems is not her, it's him. And frankly, few guys who are in this deeply still by the time they marry get out by themselves.

Your hubby needs some counseling, and until he learns the language to have her back off, and as well control his own conversation, she'll be doing this to him and you until she dies.... or he does.

If what you say is true. I feel bad for the guy. The trouble is he sees nothing wrong in it. That makes it hard. All you can do is turn the ringer off on the phone. If his father is still alive and lives with the mother. You can try and explain it to him. Perhaps he can tell her to bug off in a nice way.

She's a control freak . He's a momma's boy ... You need to tell him ,straight out , Either get mom under control or you're gonna leave him .
You don't say , how long you've been married or are there any children involved .......... but you need to get control of your husband or get out .