What is it called when a person...?

always points out the way you do things as wierd or not normal, the way you handle situations and emotions as inappropriate. always reminding you that you grew up in such dysfunction that you couldnt possibly know how to respond to relationships or people correctly. and that he is and always has been completely normal and doesnt have any of these problems, so he is able to speak with authority on most topics.i dont think "critical" sums it up. so whats this all about?

Jackass is a good choice of words.

Unless he is the full-on educated authority on what is normal and what is dysfunctional, he is just being a bully. He may not be harming you physically but his words are uneducated, and without any basis in fact.

Maybe his life was good for him, but not all that perfect, and his passing judgment on you and how you live your life is unfair and un-necessary.

He has delusions of grandeur and believes himself to be above reproach. He thinks he is the thing by which normal should be measured. That makes him pretty abnormal in the world.

this person is trying to get your mind off the real issue. for example: if i was in an argument with my husband for some big reason, he would defend himself and then attack me in this way to distract me from what i initially was accusing him of cuz he is guilty. the guily dog barks first you know what im sayin? this scenario hasnt ever happened with my husband but i have seen this manipulating behavior before and its sort of a form of brainwash i think

It's called Condescending if it's not done with love.

Sounds like your friend needs a lesson in, How to win friends, and influence people so that he can be more effective with his
need to advice people on their short comings...

God knows we have enough 'Control Freaks' in this world.