Why does he want to hurt me?

My fiance' and I just celebrated two years of being together, and will be married next year. He has always been so sweet, tender, and romantic. I used to tell everyone how he would rather walk on his hands than hurt me, but the last few months, I wouldn't be able to say that with a straight face. I am by no means perfect, and could even understand why he would be upset with me at times, but anymore he'll do something he'll know will upset me then gets angry when it does. He used to tell me how he would never want to yell at me, but he has exploded on me a few times in the last few months. Yelling and cursing, and scaring me. It leaves me feeling crushed, and confused. Crushed because he's one of the few who can hurt me, and confused because I love him but I don't want to be treated this way yet don't have it in me to end the relationship. He truly is my best friend, or was...We used to always handle potentially argumentaive situations by talking them out, never yelling,or name-calling.

Now that's all he does when trouble arises. And it hurts, because I am still operating the way we used to. It makes me feel like I care so much, and he cares so little. It makes me want to give up, but something always keeps me from doing so. I am sick of his yelling, of his "It's always my fault, so fine. Sorry" (when the situation might not be, but how he handles it, causing another problem is), and his hang ups after such statements from him. He's being so cutting cruel, ad juvenile, and I don't know how to stop it. Last month, after some hurt feelings, and serious conversations I thought we had gotten to the bottom of things. He felt like a failure, etc, etc. And thought he was failing us, so when I pointed out his shortcomings (no matter how kindly) apparently that made it worse. His telling me mine apparently is okay, though. I am tired of being shut out, and trying to talk things through with someone who would rather hand up on me than save our relationship.

If he's not always like this, it could deal heavily with feelings of failure or stress that comes with his current jobless state. No matter the cause, you deserve better. I'd say give him one more chance. If he continues to treat you poorly, take a break. Let him know it's serious, and if there is no sign of change or remorse, break off the engagement and relationship.

Too long to read sorry
pr茅cis please

Sounds like he's using drugs.

I can't believe I read it all, but I did. I'll counter it with short and to the point.

Two choices.

Use your head, accept the pain of breaking up, and never see him again. This is, by far, the most equitable choice for you. Violent outbursts do not foster long relationships.

The other? Ignore what you already know, be subservient, and learn to live with it. A long life of this is going to change you.

Do you use as many words on him as you just did in this posting? It was really hard to read.

If this is something new that he's doing, then he's stressed. Try not to add to his stress. Be a little more loving, listen more and talk less, and let him feel like a man. Otherwise, you might find yourself alone on your wedding day.