I am a bridesmaid who can't afford to go to the bachelorette party and is having bitter feelings?

I grew up with 3 girls as my best friends. 1 of them is getting married. I wrote/called Her maid of honor, who I thought we were good friends(she is one of the 4 "best friends"), numerous times to tell her I wanted to help with anything. But she never responded. Then one day I received an invite to the shower and bach. party...first info I got about anything. SO I called, told her I wanted to help but all she said is thats ok, I've got it all handled...completely excluding me from everything. Then I asked about the details of the bach. party and she informed me we all had to drive over and hour away, pay for a hotel room, drinks, food and ent.(side note: I'm planning my own wedding for oct. 4). I cant afford it. I want to be there for the bride, but she won't be there for any of my stuff(she lives in ca). I am not really happy about the situation. But I don't want to be left out. But like i said I can't afford it. What should i do?

I completely understand your frustration, but I think you really just have to put your feelings aside, cut your losses and make the best of this situation. To be honest, I think the MOH should have asked all the BMs what they could afford to spend before making such expensive plans, but you just have to remember that she's got a lot on her plate right now as well and she was probably just trying to create a fun evening and make less work for everyone else (even for you - she probably knew you were planning your own wedding and didn't want to stress you out with details).

If these guys are your best friends, just call them up, explain your situation and ask if they would mind sharing a hotel room for you. Like others have said, you might be able to cut costs down a lot to be able to make it. If you guys stay at a Comfort Inn type place, rooms average $119 a night ... so that's only about $60 for your half. The venue is only an hour away (NOT that far, really), so gas money won't be too bad. Also, just don't drink and eat a ton.

I think you'll regret not going if you pass on the opportunity. Just take a breather, look at the situation from all angles and forgive and forget. I'm sure everyone had the best of intentions when making the plans ... it's hard to please everyone!

But if you really can't swing it, you can't. It's okay. Maybe you could plan a party for just the two of you after you're married to make up for it.

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. I guess if it was me, I would talk to the bride and tell her that you weren't informed of the plans until things were already set and as much as you'd love to be there you can't really afford it. She will hopefully understand and maybe she can even get the maid of honor to change things. Good luck!

I would talk to the bride. Explain to her what you explained here and let her know you really want to be there but it's not an option for you. Maybe you can share a room with someone. Maybe you can drive to the location, hang out for a coupke of hours, (don't drink just be there) and then head home. She'll appreciate that you still came out, even if you didn't get trashed with them.