I don't know what to do anymore?!?

I'm in my early twenties, and a few years ago, my parent's about-to-fail marriage came to an end when my dad was unfortunately having an affair. It was a VERY hard time; however over time, I was able to forgive my father and try to move on. However, my mother has no idea how to handle the situation and has used me as her punching bag the past few years. She constantly makes me feel guilty for keeping in contact with my dad, blows up at me and curses at me for no reason, tells me she's the only one affected by the divorce and has not once apologized or acknowledged my feelings. Then she has the nerve to try and get the entire family, including my younger sibling to think I'm a horrible person for no reason. We get into an argument and she completely exagerrates what happened and then immediately calls everyone up and B****s. It is SO immature and is only making things worse for me. I know I dont deserve it and I'm a good person, but I don't know what to do anymore. Please help.

If you accept what has happened to your parent's marriage that's great. But as far as taking the blunt of what happened to them its not your fault, nor is your responsibility to be the punching bag for your mom when she needs to explode. Sounds like she needs some help in coping with reality. She is wrong for bringing other family members into her drama. My advice 4 you is not to give her the chance to turn things on you. No matter what you will always have a relationship with your father and on the other side of the coin she will always be your mother. You have to do what's right for you.

I think it's great that you still have a relationship with your father. Your mother has not been able to cope with this, but that is no reason for her to take it out on you. She has not forgiven your father for cheating, and she doesn't think you should have forgiven him either. She probably needs to see a therapist, so she can learn how to deal with her emotions. You may have physically distance yourself from her. That may be a little hard to do, but she needs time to heal.

You didn't mention whether or not you still live at home. If you do, try and move out. If not, you don't have to sit around listening and feeling responsible for other people's failures. You do what it is you need to do to get through this while maintaining your relationship with your dad or whomever. Regardless of how terrible his actions contributed to the marriage breakup, I'm willing to bet that he did not "intend" for anyone to be hurt. Good luck.