Do male sexual abuse victims start to think that there's nothing wrong with sexually abusing females?

My ex boyfriend says some weird things. He was sexually abused, but then he tells me to stop being a baby about my sexual abuse. He acts like sexual abuse and people who molest kids aren't a big deal. He actually thinks my step-dad (a pedophile) is a decent person. My step-dad was also sexually abused, and my step-dad thinks that there's nothing wrong with molesting me as a kid.

We're both adults, mind you. I tried to explain him to my ex and my step-dad that childhood sexual abuse can still affect adulthood and that I need to work with it, but my ex tells me to stop making excuses, says that I should have done something to stop the sexual abuse, says that I should respect my sexual abuser, and calls me stupid for having casual sex.You would think he would be more understanding since he himself was sexually abused, but he's not. I was wondering if male sexual abuse victims handle it differently? . Or do you think my ex is a possible pedophile?

First and most importantly it is a MYTH that those abused as children go on to be offenders themselves. 87% of those abused as children DO NOT become molesters.

What is most certainly happening here is a fear of facing their own childhood trauma. See, if they fool themselves into thinking sexual abuse is OK then that means what happened to them as children is nothing to worry about.

Their biggest fear is finding out that they are not OK and having to re-live their trauma in order to work it through it and be healthy. It's sort of like a person who knows something is wrong with them but is too afraid to go to the doctor for fear of finding out something really IS wrong with them... So they fool themselves into thinking everything is all right.

Most men go through life thinking, "Yes, that happened when I was a kid, but I'm fine." All the while self medicating with alcohol, dealing with anger issues, relationship issues, etc. Never connecting their trauma as the root cause of their suffering.

Your pain is real and if these men acknowledge and validate your pain then they have to validate their own and they are too afraid to do that.

You may want to visit www.rainn.org where you can find many resources to help you deal with this. There is even an online chat area where trained personnel are there to listen, hear, believe, and help you.

Don't let other's ignorance stop you from getting the help you deserve.

The male survivors I know, including myself, do not believe it is right to offend, have not offended, and are in productive recovery from our trauma.

It takes work, but you can be happy.

Good luck, and don't give up. You are worth it.

Sounds like he doesn't understand the consequences for child molestation and rape. Once you become a sex offender you have to register or become an absconder. It affects your whole life.

I am not a sex offender.

Abused children usually become child abusers. That's why I believe that Michael Jackson was guilty because he admitted to being abused as a child.