If You And A Close Friend Has A Disagreement And You Felt She Was Wrong What Would You Do?

My friend and I have been dear friends for over 15 years. In fact, we are more like family.

We had a personal discussion over some legal issues of mine and she was trying to shove her opinion down my throat. I tried to tell her to give me time to get my head together and think about it but she disagreed as to how I was handling so she made a remark that really hurt.

She said she and her husband had been talking and that I just was not as smart or sharp as I used to be. That was like a slap in the face. I was stressed and needed time to get my facts together but she was pushing me and frustrated because I did not agree with everything she was saying.

It really hurt me and she has not called in a week and I really do not know what to do. Do I really want a friend who would treat me like that? Or I am I being too sensitive?

Maybe she was having a bad day. But that was a very rude and horrible thing to say to your best friend. Hopefully, after she has some time to think about it, she will call and apologize.

You could email her or send her a letter and tell her that you agreed with what she said but you felt she was pushing you to make a decision you were not ready to make.

Then explain to her that she did not have to blunt to say she did not think you are as smart as you used to be. Tell her how much that hurt you and that you could not believe after all these years she be so hurtful.

Explain you are not angry but just hurt and that you would hate to see the relationship break up over that and that you hope she has had time to think how she would have felt if you had said that to her.

Then I would tell her, it is not worth staying angry over. You have put too many years and effort as well as love in the relationship and that you forgive her and hope that you can still be friends.

I am hoping she will call you soon and it will all be over and I think it is good of you to care enough to salvage the relationship, She is lucky to have a friend like you. God Bless You both!

That makes you a much more loving and forgiving person than she is. She will probably feel bad when she reads it in print. She may not have realized just how harsh she sounded. If she is nice about it and still wants to be friends, then she is worth salvaging as your friend. We all say things we do not mean and she probably is sorry.

Think about it.. how often does she do these kinds of things to you? Was she having a bad day and was she taking it out on you? Or does she regularly bash you wit hurtful remarks? I think the best thing to do is tell her you were hurt, and not to approach her angrily, that will get you nowhere. Maybe she had some extra frustrations that day too, the only thing you can do is talk it out to find out the problem. That is, only if you think the relationship with this person is worth saving. Good Luck with this!

I disagree with Dancer.

I say just have a temporary time out for awhile. If she still is mean towards you, sadly, it may mean the friendship has to be over. You may be friends, more like family, for 15 years, but she should STILL think before she talks. There is a time and place for brutal honesty, and this is not it! I have a best friend, like sisters, for going on 13 years, and I wouldn't let her get brutal honest. Either polite honest, or don't say anything at all. Plus, it's easy for people to say such and such a thing until they are in your shoes sometimes.

(((((HUGS))))

Edit: I agree with MelenaSo... Just use your best judgment, but still you may need space for a bit.