Anyone ready for a good clean joke? LOL?

SIPPING VODKA
This is too funny - I still have tears in my eyes! Finally, a chain letter that I don't mind forwarding.
It's funny (don't break chain)

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2)There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5)Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ***.
6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7)The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8)David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ***.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .
12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Lesher and Robert, I'm so ashamed, I don't think I'll ever smile again!!! you two are whats wrong with this country, Live a little, OK?

I'm a Christian... And I should consider this blasphemous... BUT I LAUGHED MY A** OFF DUDE!! LMFAO!!!

11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .


I don't know why, but I laughed extra hard at that. That's an awesome joke. =)

4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

Those were hilarious. :P Nice joke. I kind of don't understand, but it's a good joke! I can see why you would laugh so much. I did too :)

lol, 13 is from family guy- petoria

woooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

The joke is on you...

lol but not first time i ever heard it but the last part of it is still the best part to me though!

not funny. or clean.

Well there goes 1 minute of my life I'll never get back

very funny i like this joke

lol i liked 8

omg...those were awsome....hv a star....

I like a good clean joke but in this case I agree with Lesher M that this so called joke was neither funny nor clean. This shows a definite lack of maturity on your part to even think it is and to pass it along as you did. You should be ashamed of yourself.

EDIT
Everyone to their own taste. I personally found this "joke" to have crossed the line of decency and obviously I was not alone in my thinking according to Lesher M.