Doing the right thing,,, can I have your opinion on this poem.?

He looks forward to see her,
He'll look what time she comes home,
They look to check,
She looks for help.

He burns her with desire,
He'll roll over after his,
They want only whats best,
She wants life's fire.

He works hard and thinks of her,
He'll work hard and think of himself,
they work hard on gossip and tales,
She works hard to keep herself sane.


He waits for a second kiss,
He'll wait for a second helping,
They wIll wait for no one,
she waits on them all.

He is patient and dreams of her,
He'll be impatient, her nightmare,
They are the Doctors of life, to find fault and pick apart,
she is the patient of a broken heart.

He is the future, her choice to make,
He'll be the past, the funeral wake,
They are blind, not people kind,
she is torn for decision, life's transition,
in her mind, love to to find.

He offers his arms, around her to wrap,
He'll offer anger, kick and slap,
They'll offer all, but give her no choice,
She'll offer only, her true voice.

He decides, that she knows best,
He'll decide for all the rest
They'll decide, not knowing all,
She'll decide, to make that call.

He will accept her, love her like no other,
He'll stay and slide, his feelings to hide,
They'll say they know, it was the way to go,
she will be happy, the right decision to make,
not be in a relationship, that's just, take, take, take.

That is Fantastic...
You have captured 4 separate views of 1 persons life.
The lover, partner, friends/family and her.
Well done... Congrats Baz.

You have captured the relationship in a marriage to a T. The poem is strong, without being pushy or degrading to anyone -- just a great slice of life poem.

Excellent poetry.

it sound alright but it seems a bit too long for a poem, most poems should be around 4 or 5 paragraphs long, maybe shorten it a little without changing it to much.

Amazing...