Addiction to unhappiness?

I am an only child, raised by two full-time working parents. I was emotionally neglected and only learned from my parents examples. They both had what most people call jobs, not careers. Needless to say, my parents were never "happy." Now don't get me wrong, my parents didn't have many problems (never argued, no drug or alcohol problems, infidelity was never an issue, etc, etc). They just lived their life. Never looked forward to anything but their days off, and even then just relaxed. Nobody ever showed me how to be happy. As a preteen, I developed emotional issues (depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, etc) and by 16, I dropped out of school and wound up in a short term pysch ward for attempting suicide. After my hospitalization, I hurt myself to deal with life. Well, I moved out and things improved. I met the love of my life, started college, and started finding myself. Soon after, I became depressed again and didn't know why.

Since, I've simply been fighting with myself, trying to reason with an unreasonable self. I get depressed so easily and about the silliest things. I鈥檓 starting to realize my moods are simply so unstable that I quickly fall to a low mood, maybe because it鈥檚 easier to maintain. Silly question, but how can I let myself be happy? How can I find things I enjoy? How can I save my good mood when I feel it slippin'?

Personally I have found that "happiness" is difficult to obtain and almost impossible to sustain. However, if you can be content with "Peace", this is possible to experience all the time.

We, that is ones MIND takes on, much of the programing that is within the MINDs of our parents. This has value to us only in so far as it "conditions" us to react to certain events that occur to us in Life. The Karma coming to us is met by our programing, and we tend to react like out parents reacted to events in their lives... and if we do not react in this way [even thought we may not do so because we are ourselves more consciously aware or more highly evolved] our MINDs have an "expectation" that we "should" act in a certain way... and it "beats us up" by feeding us words that cause us to hurt ourselves.

The only way to disengage from this "programming" is to eliminate it. And since it is non-conscious to us, how do we do this, right? By grieving for ourselves when we feel badly, and attempting at the same time to "remember" when we felt this way as a child... and to tell our MINDs that this experience is no longer "needed". The more one is able to embrace sadness, and take it deeper into grief, the more one automatically erases the old programming. Grief is the key... go into it deeply and as often as you can.

As for the happiness thing... please realize that nothing, and I mean nothing on the physical plane is permanent. So go ahead an laugh and be joyful as you can be and just expect that this is temporary... so "expect" an end to it.

But as you learn to accept the high and low as simply natural swings one must go through, you will develop a sense of Peace.. and this you can carry with you into every situation and event... always trying to remember that none of this experiencing outside yourself is as REAL as the Peace within yourself. So focus on the Peace and just watch what is going on outside yourself.

This is detachment, and what mystics encourage us to embrace as a more healthy reality.

Peace

OK trust me please, im not crazy, but i could give u a long explaination but it would not be as good as the one you will get if you go out and buy the book called "A new earth" by echkart tolle. Trust me if you take this serisouly it will change your life, it made me a much happer person!!


Its only like 8 dollars too, please do it
Dont go on medication please!

There is a way to find happiness in yourself, im not trying to sell something here. this book changed my life!!!!| Please email me if you end up with the book i would want to hear if it worked for you..

Get some meds... see a therapist, but make sure you can relate to them... work on your every day problems and issues.
And, every day, the first time you see the sun, close your eyes, let it warm your skin while you do afirmation for all the wonderful things that you currently have.
Remember there are people all over the world that have to worry about how to get their next drink of water, a little food, and a safe place to sleep. You are one of the lucky ones, really.
Be joyful.