How would you react if a friend told you she couldn't afford to be in your wedding?

I just want to know how you would feel if this happened to you, as a bride. I was in a friend's wedding 2 years ago and the groom called it off a week before the wedding. I was the maid of honor and spent tons of money. I didn't mind b/c I cared about my friend although she did choose me (over her two sisters) b/c I was organized (that's basically what she told me). While the calling off of the wedding was no way her fault, it would have felt nice to at least have an acknowldgement of thank you so much for doing so much. Fast forward two years later, and many men later...my friend found another guy and got engaged pretty quickly. I told my friend, before she asked me, a day after she got engaged via email that I was terribly sorry and apologized for being presumptous but if she had planned at all to have me be MOH again, I couldn't afford it, because I truly can't. This time around, I have a 3 year old, am a SAHM, and my husband is a teacher and in grad school. I apologized over..

even apologized for the timing of it but I really did not want to tell her on the phone, after she was excited and asked me to be a MOH again, and then have her angry. I rather avoid the confrontation and email her (we email all the time) and apologize profusely that I just couldn't afford it. And, to top it off, I can't make her wedding b/c of a huge family party that I can't get out of. She hasn't responded to me and just wondering what others think. I feel badly but honestly, this friend hasn't been the best of friend. She hasn't seen my son since he was born 3 years ago, doesn't respond to my party invites, said she couldn't make my most recent BBQ b/c she wasn't sure if she was having a birthday party for her fiance then (it turned out that she did the day before our bbq), etc... Just wanted to get opinions. Yes, I know my timing was bad, but I apologized sincerely so much and just wanted to avoid that uncomfortable conversation and I know she was going to ask me again.

I kno w you feel really bad and will be feeling guilty for a long time because you are a nice person. I don't think she should be mad or angry at all if she was a good friend. If she was a good friend to you she would have understood your reasons for not being able to be in her wedding for the SECOND time. She should have understood and still give you a its ok totally understand and thank you again for all that you have done for me for my first wedding kinda thing. So honestly you shouldn't take it to hard on yourself. She will get over it if she is a good friend.

Who is saying you are selfish to not be able to afford it? None of the answerers said that and it doesn't sound like your friend did either to me. Report It

I think you did the right thing. I was in a wedding, I was MOH and they paid for my dress, my flight, everything. I didnt pay for anything because I couldnt afford it.

Maybe you jumped the gun and she never intended on asking you to be apart of the wedding. If i was her I would have not been upset with you because you were honest about not being able to afford it. what I would be upset by was you jumping the gun before i even asked you and then you letting me know in a e-mail.

Well this is a little contradictory, you seem to be saying that you're not really good friends anymore but yet you feel guilty enough to be asking whether we think what you did was ok.

There's no point in worrying about it now, it's done and you've apologized, maybe you could have handled it better to begin with but you've done it and you can't go back and change it. Move on, if you see/speak to her again then all you can do is explain and tell her again how sorry you are. Other than that all you can do is get on with your life. If the friendship is meant to be then it will blow over and sort itself out.