I really don't care anymore?

I am really really sick and tired of life, i am 26, virgin, christian and i have tried so hard in my life for things to work out and nothing has, i still live at home with my mum and step dad where i am mentally abused and have been since i was 11...i think nothing of being called a prostitte or slag, its normal and doesn't even register, its basically my name and im used to it.. he has issues! im just so sick i got a degree but have to work in a shop coz i can't find a job, so i have to stay at home, i cannot find a boyfriend i have dated and tired internet sites....i met one guy and he has just thrown me away but crawls back sometimes, i am so heartbroken, i am a bit overweight and have acne so i am on accutane which has taken it away and im on a diet and have lost 10lbs....but ifind myself wanting to be alone constanly, people irritate me, i have drifted away from my friends loads and lost 2 friendships but i do not care at all....i am looking forward to dyign coz life is boring

i kno wlife is what you make it and i have tried tried tried but now im not with this guy i don't even want my life if im not with him i basically just want to drift away coz its not worth just exisitng...my aunt, friend and mum have all said to me they cannot believe nothing has worked out for me, i am caring and help other people, put myself out for people and my mum says i deserve something good in my life, they are so dissapointed and gobsmacked i have reached 26 and have nothing, but my mum is upset that i am depressed now............i am so sick i am on holiday from work, but i sat in my pj's on t net waiting for him.....i just feel numb and can't wait till this is all over...life is just one big stupid game..............i am not allowed counselling and i don't want it on ym medical records

So let me get this straight...are you saying you are feeling this way because of a guy? A guy whom you said threw you away? What you need is some perspective on life. Try volunteering with the elderly or in a children's hospital (whichever age appeals to you more). Nothing wakes you up more than seeing a 6 month old baby with spinal cord cancer!
You need to find something that makes you feel important. I went through a state of depression about your age and started volunteering in the cancer floor of our kids' hospital. It really was a wake up call that life isn't so bad...it can always be worse and usually is for someone somewhere.

Life is hard, believe me i know. im 22 and i still don't know what i want to do with my life. do i move to Europe or stay in the us and go down with the ship. Life has its ways of showing you that you are special. if your Christian why not look to god?

Take up a loan and move far far away from everything familiar. Start your life over again!.. If your parents don't allow you then run away. You are legal and there is nothing they can do. If you don't want contact with them change your phone number and do not give out your address. Though you will own money it will help you get your head straight. Do not get caught up in everything bad.. remember whats good as well. If you feel alone and dont want contact with anyone i suggest you get yourself a cat as it needs attention and affection but can be shut out when you don't want it around and it will slowly teach you to love others. When you move, which i hope you do, go out more, learn to enjoy life, find a hobby that interests you and you'll see with a positive attitude things will change. You can read the book "the secret" and maybe this can help you. I know it has helped others. Remember: do not try to do anything stupid.. try to solve things before taking drastic measures..

Please treat yourself to this book right away "You can heal your life" by Louise Hay...or go to the library & borrow it. You are going to not only be fine but better than ever. If it is early in the morning to run out & get the book, where you are you can do a search for Louise Hay & look at questions people have sent her & the answers she has written. You will learn how you can reframe what you are saying & you will get