MY STEPFATHER DID SOMETHING VERY BAD TO ME when?

i was 15 i am now 24, he felt on my private area with his fingers and kissed me, i woke up an pushed him away and i hid under my sheets, times before that he would talk nasty to me if am ready to become a women, that am sexy, also how wwould i kiss a man etc. anyhow back to that bad nite, i woke up feeling bad wondering what should i do, i went to my mom and i cryed to her, she didn't do nothing, she said let's not bring this up ever again let's forget it. so i did for her. fast forward to now. i love my mom dearly no matter what , i need her and love her, i am married to a great man 3 kids and all, i hate that she still puts this man in my face making me wish him happy fathers day,birthdays etc. she tells my kids to call him grandpa all that, well i am still dealing with this i want closure now but am so scared to i want to comfront them but am serious to say that i don't wanna lose my mom i love her. i want to tell her why!! should i leave well enough alone. or lose my mom

if it makes you feel better.. then talk to him.... if your mom decides to be upset and angry with you... so what so be it... she didnt play her role anyway when you went to her for protection out of fear and confussion.... your mother is wrong in this situation.... so let her be mad i dont care and you shouldn't either.... she obviously didn't put you first when it came to serious matters.... you know better then her how to raise your children.... bring it up and let it all out... if you cry .. its ok... just let it out... and remember you dont have to deal with him .. she does.. so if you dont want ot say happy birthday or merry christmas... you dont have to.... you are a grown woman..... ( i went through the same situation... instead it was a friend of the family....my mom didn't beleive me and it hurt like hell knowing that the person who suppose to protect me wasn't helping when i needed it the most... now im 20 and there are plenty of things that she cant and wont try to run in my life... i love her but since that day i was looking out for myself by myself)


good luck honey..... you've been holding it in all these years... its time to exhale..

I would do whatever it took to stay away from your step father. You can still see your mom but stay away from that bad man. If you mother insists that you see him and send him cards I would drop her. She obviously puts her own happiness far above yours. Not only that, she allows him to see the children, knowing he could molest them as well. For the good of your family avoid this man at all costs.

Call the police and charge him. You may have to take care of your mother. He commited a crime against you.

Your mother may love you but not enough if she wants to push this under the rug and let you bear the burden. I would have cut ties w/my mom if something like that ever happened but I realize that is a very hard decision to make. You'll have to confront her if you want to feel better about things.

lose both of them.... do you really want him around your kids??......

Explain to your mother that you love her and want her in your life but this has been bothering you for a long time. It is disturbing to me that she did not take you at your word when you originally told her about this. I have daughters of my own and would never tolerate a situation that this man caused. Maybe try and look into therapy for yourself to get someone elses insight. If she loves and wants you in her lifeyou she will not push you away--if she does push you away, that is her loss. I wish you well.

You have spoke your concerns, if she doesn't want to believe you than you will need to go with your heart. I to have been in the same situation. My SF isn't aloud around my children, I call her sometimes, as far as seeing her she has to come to my house. As far as what happened she didnt believe me either, I learned to accept it but I never forgot. I havent walked away from her I just have stood my ground. I love my mother just not the choices she has made. I feel that what I am doing is right for me and my children. Stand your ground, be a better person.

stay away from him.

ok. i can relate. i have been abuse in everyway possible. wut u need to do is confront your mom again. tell her that something needs to be done. if she doesnt handle either press charges or take your family awya from them. AND DO NOT let your kids call him that. if you have to not be in contact with your mother its for your kids. you do not want what happen to you to happen to your kids. get out of the place or press charges. if you press charges hyou have to realize you mite lose your mom and that it mite take a long time before he gets punished, especially because it was a few years ago.
hope you figure it all out befoer it gets worse

I guess my first concern is the fact that you have 3 kids.
If he did that to you what makes you think he wont do that to them.
I definitely would not let him be with them by himself EVER!
So I guess my answer is for the sake of your children and you own sanity (because it sound like you have not dealt with it)
Get counseling and keep you kids away from him. The rest can be figures out later, but you need to talk to someone.

tell him what he did in front of all your family its for the good

hey I went through this with an uncle of mine. and I made sure every one new that I wanted him nowhere around any of my daughters. and I have 3.But my mom you now still had communication with him and she ended up letting him see my daughter during a visit she had with him. And I tell you what if they do it once they never get over it I only believe they make efforts to get better. So you do everything an danything hat you have to in order to protect you kids.. and you would think that our moms would understand.RIGHT! we have to protect our babies from creeps like those.because when they see an easy target they strike.

Get away from them both! Move far away so this man can never touch your kids. If you hear of somebody charging this man with something don't keep your mouth shut. Go and tell what he did to you! I know you love your mom, but she ought to be ashamed of herself for not defending her baby from this disgusting man.

I would get a mediator and talk with them and my husband. I WOULD NOT wish him Happy Fathers Day. and most definately my kids WOULD NOT call him grandpa. They would listen to me or i would cut ties till they did. You have to deal with this or it will eat you up inside. If he can't admit what he did wrong or your mother can't admit she was wrong in not dealing with it or helping you then i would cut ties till they could realize it. this is about you not about making them happy right now you need this for yourself.